Engaged and confused

[LunaLooneyTunes]

I'm currently engaged to a man I love a lot and who treats me very well. We have been together for 7 years and we want the same things in life. He is a few years older than me and we got together when I was 18, so I don't have a lot of other relationship experience. I was looking forward to our wedding until I recently developed an all-consuming crush on another man. We are very alike and have a lot of chemistry together. I can't stop thinking about him. I think he likes me too. I would never cheat on my fiancée, but this crush has made me doubt whether I have enough experience outside of my current relationship to be getting married. Has anybody else had feelings like this and gone on to have a happy marriage?

Crushes are normal. Don’t fan the flames. Is there anything stressful going on, are you lacking in hobbies etc? They’re not always about the object of the crush.

I'm trying not to but we have to spend a lot of time together for work. I'm very busy with work and commuting and wedding planning so definitely not bored. I do agree that there probably isn't anything particularly special about this person but rather that he just represents lost opportunities. I just wish I'd never started having these feelings. I'm feeling so guilty and stressed over this.

I think something that might help is turning your daydreams or thoughts about the crush around and try to daydream your life without your fiancee. If you have a commute or a quiet moment that recurs in your day, think about it then, what it would be like to go home and he isnt there, dont fill his absence with your new crush or anyone else. Sometimes when we really take the time to think about reality , it can help. You may find that you can actually imagine it and maybe your fiancee isnt the one, or you may feel the gravity of him not being there