Friendship problems

[Sandy8765]

I have an issue with a friend ive known a year and a half
On lots of levels shes a good friend we message all the time, she has given me a lot of stuff for my cat, but its always me who organises everything and she always says yes and we have a great time but ive been to her house twice last this year and shes organised 2 things

She never says when are you free or are you free this weekend, she always has her diary full up so if i say are you free this weekend she says no..

We fell out recently as she said we would go away for a week but she went with her other friend...

I feel she has her life and her friends who she sees and im just a bonus as i make all the plans and she doesnt have to make an effort

I dont want another row but its got beyond a joke..i also dont want to lose the friendship

I think you might be being a demanding and she can't offer you the type of friendship you want.
She seems busy, but happy to meet, and you want her to be more available than she is.

The week away thing is a bit off, but people say stuff all the time and don't follow through, if I 'get' that that is this person's style I don't take things too seriously unless we have made a firm plan.

If we argue/challenge everyone who doesn't live up to our expectations and wants we may find ourselves with less options.

If you value the friendship, lighten up.

I'm not sure. How often are you suggesting doing things together? It may be too much, it may not. Generally, more of my friends are working than not, so about once a month is how often we'd get together. All have family too, so would be difficult to manage more than that. Although my DD is an adult, some weekends are tied up visiting etc, and I have an elderly DM, so... I suppose it would help to know what your expectations are.

My expectations probably are too much but im just fed up always being the one to organise things..she says im great and she loves our days out(that i organise) but recently she was drunk and said that she knows that she never organises anything but that i dont mind.....but of course i mind and ive told her which is where we are now

If you didn't do the organising, perhaps the friendship might fizzle out.. Some people are just flaky around that stuff but otherwise valuable friends.

You have to weigh up what's more important to you.

I think she likes your company, but is stretched a little thin. That’s ok op - don’t fall out with her, but she won’t give you everything you need. Develop and cultivate other friendships. Don’t get angry that she can’t give you her all. Friendship is a two way street - it’s ok if she can only give so much. Don’t write her off, just diversify a little. Concentrate on making new connections.

Yes, get more friends, this will dilute how often you go out with her. I imagine you may both benefit from that. Maybe have a look at night classes/day classes in your area/hobby groups, MeetUp, etc.

I have friends that I do all the organising. And other friends where they do all the organising. To me it doesn't really matter...if we were going weekends away regularly or holidays with loads of activities then it would be a lot of work. But normally it's a couple of texts and a Google for activities and booking something 'I've seen this soft play, fancy joining us on Thursday morning?' If you dont like organising but still want to see her just suggest something that doesnt require any organisation like a walk or invite her over or something? Yes its unequal but its hardly a massive deal