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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tips on going very LC/almost NC with a sibling

3 replies

FallingStar21 · 01/01/2022 10:05

I have an already distant brother who I want to go even less (almost no) contact with. We live far away from each other, but still talk occasionally and sometimes see each other at family functions. My issue is that he makes no effort and shows zero interest in my life. For example, he would never ask anything about my partner, my relationship, my job or anything he knows is happening in my life. So when we "talk" it's mainly me trying to ask him about his life and think of what to talk about next, and I'm really getting fed up with it. We are also very different and have almost nothing in common, so I find these conversations awkward and very tedious. More recently, I have started pulling away and not initiating contact, but the problem is he does- he will send a text every couple of months or so, asking when he can call up for a chat.
Any advice on how to essentially stop talking to him, without doing a dramatic "no contact"?
I'd be fine with occasional texts and family events, but really want to put a stop to the phone calls (or decrease them to literally 1-2 calls per year).

OP posts:
inheritancetrack · 01/01/2022 10:13

Seems rather harsh. Just call and let him do the talking, but not extend it to more that 5 minutes if it's all about him, and you are bored. He is initiating the conversations via text so surely it's not that big a deal? He clearly feels a connection to you to be texting like this even if it doesn't feel like that to you. Maybe steer the conversation towards your childhood, as that usually is an interesting topic for both of you?

AnnaMagnani · 01/01/2022 10:18

Ignore the texts for a few weeks before answering?

Take the call but Mumsnet all the way through while answering mmm?

FallingStar21 · 02/01/2022 00:17

@inheritancetrack
I have the feeling it's more about appearances or sense of duty for him, that he "should be" contacting me because I am his sister, rather than caring about me.
The thing is, I find myself dreading the conversations, just for the sheer awkwardness and that we have nothing in common. We have had convos around our childhood, but sadly they involve an abusive parent, rather than happy memories and we didnt do much together due to our age gap. I can't pinpoint it, but it feels like there's a bad vibe between me and DB, though we hadn't had a fall out or anything extremely toxic between us.

OP posts:
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