Have you ever frozen at your DP’s touch?

[Kooksadooks]

I mean frozen like stone and not wanted to move… and why?

Yes, but he was abusive. I froze regularly as a trauma response.

What's going on for you?

Yes, but not as PP, but as in I felt physically unwell by the thought of any intimacy with him, even as much as hand holding. That went on probably two years before divorce.

Thank you both for your responses.

For me I think it was a reaction after years of shouting / swearing / raised voices / snappiness / walking on eggshells. Also when being intimate he would notice I have frozen up and criticise me for it (obviously).
I felt like I couldn’t be vulnerable and open with him because of his short fuse and that made me freeze. Does that make sense?
Is it always a trauma response?

It makes a lot of sense.

I'm probably biased in my view but we have different responses to feeling threatened (emotionally and physically). The two most well known are fight and flight. There's also freeze (think deer in headlights), faint, flag (losing all energy) and fawn (being unusually subservient).

If you're living with someone with a short fuse you are always looking for the next trigger trying to prevent the next blow up. We often can't fight believing we won't win, neither can we run for lots of reasons, so one of the others usually comes into play.

Is there a difference in how you feel in his company and the company of friends? What would your body say if it could talk when you hear he's come home? Are you afraid?

For me I think it was a reaction after years of shouting / swearing / raised voices / snappiness / walking on eggshells. Also when being intimate he would notice I have frozen up and criticise me for it (obviously).I felt like I couldn’t be vulnerable and open with him because of his short fuse and that made me freeze. Does that make sense?

Makes perfect sense.

Is it always a trauma response?

I used to get freezing in some situations because I found it hard to be assertive and say I didn't want something, so there was nothing I could do. But maybe that's a trauma response on some level.

Also if you just really don't want to shag the person but don't know how to get out of the situation.

But it sounds like you were frightened of him in some ways. They say 'petrified' which means to be turned to stone by fear.

Your either frightened or repulsed so which one is it and why OP?

As I've said before your body says no for a reason.

No, I've never felt anything but safe with DH. He would never, ever hurt or intimidate me.

I remember freezing at my mother's touch, though. Just as you describe - frozen like stone. I was fucking terrified of her.

It isn't right to feel like this towards your partner

Only when it has been time to end the relations

Relationship