Myself and dp have been together for 10 years, we had our first child in 2020. Putting aside the massive emotional turmoil his family have put me through (overbearing, judging), I just don't think I want to be with him anymore.
DP would be described by everyone around him as a very selfless man, and in a lot of ways he is. Always puts other people first and just has a very caring and loyal nature.
However I've began to notice things recently and I don't know whether it's because my ears have been pricked up or whether things have got worse.
Some examples:
All my wages go on the household bills he gets paid weekly and I get paid monthly. The idea was that he would provide week to week money. However he seems to be skint every week.
Hes just asked me to lend him £160 for a loan we took out (so apologies, he does pay this each month) which left me skint, he then announces he is spending £50 on something for himself (I can't go on to details because he does peruse MN since having a baby)
I feel like he bosses me around. Little things like I announced my father was coming over on Sunday for lunch and I was going to go all out because he's been isolating. DP rolled his eyes and said no, keep it simple because I can't deal with the dishes.
DP wants to go to our holiday home for one night tonight, I've woken up with a cold and said I can't be bothered to pack everything up for the baby etc for the sake of one night. He is now sulking.
There are so many more examples, I feel taken advantage of, used and unappreciated.
He can be short tempered with our toddler, not all the time- he is a great dad and worships our son. I guess that's what worries me about leaving him is the hurt it would cause him to not be under the same roof as him. He absolutely adores him.
Last night I told him it was his turn to put son to bed as I had been doing it every night and I was feeling poorly. He kept saying in a minute.
I fell to sleep on sofa and woke at 8pm to him dicking about on his xbox and toddler still up with a soiled nappy. I picked him up to do it myself and then dp shouted that he said he would do it. I snapped back at him and he did back down.
I'm constantly cleaning up after him and I'm exhausted.
We have no sex life and I don't find him attractive anymore.
I need to ask him to leave but how do I do this without hurting him :(