Sometimes I genuinely feel like there's no one I can rely on and I don't know what to do. When people let me down my brain says "just do it yourself, you can't trust them to do it" so I keep taking on more and more stuff.
I have a lovely DP, he is a funny and generous man and genuinely my best friend, but he can be extremely stubborn and has some traits that drive me mad. I don't think he's doing this stuff on purpose, he's just set in his ways and a bit oblivious to it all.
We've recently had a baby and despite me showing him how to do things/telling him to get me if he gets stuck, he constantly cuts corners and does stuff wrong.
i.e doesn't wash the baby bottles properly before putting them in the steriliser so when I come to make up a bottle there is still milk residue in the bottle or stuff all over the teats so I have to redo them.
He put the baby down in his cot tonight and rather than popper/zip him into his sleeping bag he has tried to wrap him up in it which was a sleeping hazard.
The dishes are never properly clean when he does them and there are times when he will put a load of washing on but only do his stuff!
When I pick him up on stuff he can be quite defensive and hurt so I just think to myself.....I'll do that job in future because i don't want to hurt his feelings, he is trying really hard. But I'm not sure how much more I can take on. I feel like I do most of the stuff in the house and compromise on sleep/showering/doing stuff for myself to keep up with it. Sometimes I'm too tired to shower. In general I feel knackered all the time. I don't know if I'm suffering from long covid but my energy levels are rubbish.
He's worked the whole of Christmas because the money was really good when I was looking forward to family time and a bit of a rest from the baby. We also have a stack of stuff to get done in the house which I now feel like if I want it done I just need to do it myself. The house is pretty overwhelming. It's way too small for us but I don't know where to start in sorting it. I know we need to drastically thin out our possessions but there is no space to sort through things and I get overfaced by it all. Its also really hard to keep on top of all the day to day chores when there's so much junk in the way. If I tackle the junk then I haven't got time for the dishes.
I got quotes earlier for self storage to box it all up just to get it out of the house so that I can sort through it in a clear space one box at a time but I don't know if that's a stupid idea.
We also need to reshuffle our bedrooms and I've explained we can not expect our teenager to share with a toddler (when the baby is bigger) but he's annoyed that we have to compromise on our space and share with the baby. I don't have a problem sharing with the baby for a few years until we can move somewhere bigger. We chose to have a baby, why should we inflict that on the teenager? But he doesn't agree.
Equally my mum expects a lot from me emotionally. She will frequently call me up when she's having a bad day to talk things through but when I ask her for favours she screams at me. I've repeatedly told her if she says no I will accept her answer and say no more (and I do that everytime she says no/screams) but her reaction is always the same.....if I ask her for something and she doesn't want to do it, she shouts at me. It hurts my feelings because she isn't like that with my siblings and they seem to get so much out of her. It's got to the point where I've taken a step back but I can feel myself becoming more and more isolated and withdrawn. I can't take the disappointment of being repeated let down so I just walk away. I feel really lonely.