Stick with it or call it a day?

[Wack]

Hi all, can I pose a question to you? I'm 60 and have been in a relationship with a woman a few years younger than me for a while and we've been getting on fine in every way, however in recent times things have been getting a little tetchy, because of my condition and the medication I have to take, I've had all three jabs for safety. My partner has not been jabbed, but has promised so many times that she would book herself in for them.
Until she does, I'm having to limit myself where I go, what I do and who I see and when I get home, I have to wash my hands and use the sanitation spray, I do anyway, but it's getting to the point where I'm being nagged. Even if I'm at home and she calls me, she asks where I've been and did I wash and clean my hands, I confirm I have, but still get the lecture of, "I'm not jabbed yet and you have be careful because you cannot be passing covid on to me". I confirm that I've done all this and feel very belittled. Basically, I'm having to live my life in a strict regime.
She will not leave the without a mask and constantly lectures taxi drivers and bus drivers (she cannot drive), it's got to the point where two of the local taxi companies are now boycotting her. She's become so hung up on covid, she decided 6 months ago that we would not have sex or any form of personal relationship until covid is all clear, I didn't think she would continue, but here we are, almost in 2022 and she's sticking to her guns. I even have to wear a mask in her house and adhere to her washing rules and regulations.
I was sitting at home this morning and got to thinking that I'm putting my life on hold because she has not been jabbed. So, I called her up and asked her if she was going to get booked in, she announced that she's not going to bother as there are too many side effects and doesn't want a foreign chemical in her body. Over the years she's travelled the world and the injections/vacinations she's had to cover her travelling will be many, so why refuse the current jabs? She has no reason, she just refuses and the current variation has got her even more in a panic.
This situation is really getting on my nerves now, I'm scrupulously clean in every way, do not take any risks when out, have not met up with any friends at all and heven't ventured anywhere without doing my homework prior. So my question is, am I being stupid by going along with her wishes or should I just call it a day?
There are so many other things I could mention, but it's pointless as it'ss more or less going over the same ground.

Thank you.

Sack that. Couldn’t be bothered having to live such a limited life when she can’t even take basic steps to look after herself. Double standards also. Bin.

'Sounds tedious. Call it a day.

Call it a day.
Time waits for no man, so don't waste yours with someone who sounds a bit nuts, frankly.

She's a hypocrite and sounds incredibly controlling
I'd be ending the relationship on this alone nevermind the other stuff that you've not mentioned
Seriously, life is too short.
Give yourself a New Years present and get your life back, on your own terms and get shot of her

She’s bonkers - call it a day and move on with your life .

She sounds awful!
Sack it off

The basic question you need to answer for yourself is whether or not you want to live by her rules.

And to be honest, if it's 'yes', regarding this or any other rules, you need to be looking at why your own rules aren't enough for you.

No this is so wrong!

Firstly she sounds generally unpleasant.

Also she's a hypocrite, a bully, a nag and controlling!

This is awful for you. I hope you can just stop seeing her.

There are too many side effects and she doesn't want foreign chemicals in her body. (paraphrasing as quoting is not working)

If she catches Covid and ends up in ITU she will be given a cocktail of foreign chemicals (drugs) to try to save her life - all of which have side effects.

Your life is on hold because of her - indefinitely - by the sounds of it. She has every right her view, even though her worries about catching Covid must be limiting her enjoyment of life but you are entitled to live your life. If the past 2 years have taught us anything it is that life is too short and precious to waste.

My advice would be - begin to live your life again accepting that this may be the end of your relationship. I can't see what you are getting out of the current relationship. Her views are controlling your life break free and be happy.

Easy. To best protect her, keep as far away from her as possible. You live your life and do whatever you feel is safe and right for you. I wish you a very Happy and Healthy NEW Year!

Thank you all, it makes perfect sense what you are all saying, there's no middle ground with her. After my first post, I called her and made a suggestion about having sex while wearing a mask, that way we'd both get some pleasure and ease the frustration, loneliness and connection we're both missing. She agreed that masks could be an option, but she'd want me to stay at her property for 7 days straight before she would even consider getting into bed with me, I'd have to sleep in the spare room.
It looks like we're both going to end the year as single.

Thank you for the positive advice.

Happy new year to you all and the very best wishes for 2022.

That’s absolutely bonkers, she won’t protect herself by having the vaccine but expects everyone else in her life to accommodate that choice to the extreme. Regardless of your views on vaccination I couldn’t live with that level of self centredness.

Flipping eck....bin her off. Happy New year 🎉

What a cracked mare, she sounds bonkers and very selfish.

Well, the sex in a mask could have been interesting, but nah...
Find someone less controlling and enjoy the new year.

There's very little logic in all this. It sounds exhausting and unfulfilling. I d ditch.

This is most bizarre.... If she had been jabbed and was still anxious I could understand but to not want the vaccine and be anal is just weird.

I mean you could always go down the army surplus and get 2 respirators to have sex with 🙈

Well she can't say you didn't try and compromise! Definitely best off moving on, good luck OP

You’ve really tried but the trouble is, she will keep coming up with new hoops for you to jump through. Her behaviour is extremely controlling and I think she enjoys limiting your interactions with friends. It’s quite dangerous territory.

Oh just dump her. Too much hassle if you ask me, and she's expecting you to bend over backwards whilst making no effort whatsoever herself.

Good afternoon all, I called her earlier today and was totally honest with my feelings and thoughts, then she came out with a line that she always does, "well I've had a thought", I kid you not, this is her standard reply. She then promised me she would go and see her doctor next Tuesday with the "possibility of having her vaccines", not "I will get them". I said, "that's not enough for me as you could have had them many months ago and you have therefore stopped our relationship in it's tracks."

There was a few seconds of silence, then she started again, "well what if I try and get booked now"? I told her it was too late and I'd made up my mind to leave the relationship. The tears started along with the, "I've done everything for you" speech, but it wasn't washing with me, I gave her a few truths and asked her if there was anything else she would like to say before I hung up the phone, she was quiet for a few more seconds and started with the, "What about the plans we'd made? What about the ideas we'd had? What about the engagement ring you'd promised me? What about the promise you made to move in with me? (All news to me, therefore she was inventing things). I gently informed her that I'd made no such promises and never would.

I said goodbye and ended the call. Since then, my phone have been on fire, fistly with "I'm sorry and I wished I'd had the vaccines, I promise to get them next week", but they were not replied to. The text messages and emails then commenced, again, not answered. I went into the setting on my phones and blocked her, however she would not be stopped, my mobile lit up with a "withheld number", I answered it to be greeted by a woman sounding like she was on the verge of a crisis, the pleading continued, but I heard nothing as I'd left the phone on the settee and went to make a coffee. 2 Minutes later the "withheld number" was ringing again and was ignored.

Around 2pm my phone started ringing, not a number I knew and my phone and broad band contract is about to run out, I though it might be BT, I was wrong, it was her and she'd gone and bought a new phone, I ended the call and added the number to the blocked list. The only problem, she can continue to call me if she put's 141 before my number. I'll just have to ignore her for a while and hope she gets the message.

Thank you all for listening and the advice.

Happy new year.

She sounds unhinged. OP.

I'm pleased you've stood firm.

Didn't matter what the issue was, she was being very selfish.

I suspect you will be deluged with calls tonight.

It might be compassionate to send a brief message confirming it is over, you don't want to talk....I'm just guessing if she is isolating she will be all alone and whilst I am glad you are liberated, as an outsider 8 also do feel for her tonight. Frustrating and self destructive as her behaviour is, she is certainly not in a good place.

This tells you all you need to know.