Is my marriage beyond hope or am I being unreasonable

[Graciew137]

On paper I have a brilliant family life, me, my young son and husband. Both work and live a good life, have a nice (if a bit small) house.

But since I had my son, and maybe a little while I was pregnant, I just kept noticing how much I enjoy being in my own, having my own bed, being at home alone without my husband. Then I kept noticing how 'picky' he is about everything being perfect and then the tone of 'I know best' started, he criticized everything I do and tells me how he accommodates my quirks, not taking into account I have to do the same with his.

He constantly talks about how hard everything is emotionally for him, but if I speak or 'but in' then I'm not listening enough, so my emotionally needs are never addressed. I then don't feel like saying anything, as I don't want a fight or to upset him further.

He is very good and does more than his fair share of all chores and childcare, he is a good dad (if not a little unrealistic about what a toddlers behaviour should be), but I just can't feel anything as a couple. Is there something wrong with me, am I expecting too much?

"He constantly talks about how hard everything is emotionally for him, but if I speak or 'but in' then I'm not listening enough, so my emotionally needs are never addressed. I then don't feel like saying anything, as I don't want a fight or to upset him further."

You are walking on eggshells around him. This does not sound at all healthy. He sounds controlling and cold.

YANU. If you cannot talk to your husband freely, without interruption or him taking a huff, then what you have is set to continue.

As Geppili has said, it sounds as if you are walking on eggshells around him. How long can you foresee yourself living like this?

You’re not happy, and he doesn’t listen to you. Resentment will set in, and then that’s the end.
Get your ducks in a row for when you decide you’ve had enough.

There's nothing wrong with you - you're feeling how anyone would feel if treated that way. His behaviour is coercive and controlling.

Thank you for your advice and for being a good sounding board. Guess I ultimately know what I've got to do, but it is very scary taking the next step.