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Original poster

Holiday fuck up

29 replies

notthatonethisone · 29/12/2021 22:42

Please don't judge. I know. I've fucked up. I thought a holiday would cement a fucked up relationship. It hasn't.

Now I'm thousands of miles away from home. I'm sad. I'm crying. I just want a handhold please

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 29/12/2021 22:44

How easy would it be to get a room on your own? That might help. Or could travel plans be changed to come home?

Original poster
notthatonethisone · 29/12/2021 22:49

Thank you. Yes I'm looking at flights. But it's a day travelling. I've only just got here.

I just feel shattered. Everyone said he's wrong for me. It's too volatile. And here we are...

Place is I think fully booked. And besides it's small. So would see each other. Only meant to be here a few more days before going to a different hotel.

Just think it's irrecoverable. And I'm so sad. He's so angry with me. It's so venomous and I'm struggling with that

OP posts:
dumplings1 · 29/12/2021 22:50

Is it just you two? Do you think you can make up until the end of the holiday or are you wanting to travel back home? Sorry to hear you're in this situation.

PurpleDaisies · 29/12/2021 22:52

What’s actually gone on?

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 29/12/2021 22:57

What do you mean small place? Have you got money? If so, you can go and find a hotel, pension, band b, or tal k in confidence to the tour operator, hotel manager, etc. It can be done and it may mean you have an actual holiday. Whether sleeping, swimming, relaxing and reading or having fun .. salvage something foe yourself from the mess. Get yourself a place you feel safe and can relax in.

Momijin · 29/12/2021 23:01

Oh no :( what's happened? Could you do day trips/go to the beach/wherever he isn't and just ignore him when you're in the room? Get some headphones and put them on if he tries to speak to you.

Original poster
notthatonethisone · 29/12/2021 23:04

Thanks everyone.

Yes I know what you mean. It's just I've spent a small fortune on all inclusive here. To bugger off now just annoys me there are no small b&b places. It's isolated! There might be more at the next town we go to. But I can't hold our till then. And I just want to stay here. I like it. I know my way around and I'm shit at new countries on my own.

I'm on Google now. Looking for places. But also flights back.

god. I don't know where to begin. But he's been vile. Really shitty. There's no comeback.

OP posts:
namechanged221 · 29/12/2021 23:07

Are you safe?

Original poster
notthatonethisone · 29/12/2021 23:20

He slapped me Xmas Sad

Amongst other things

OP posts:
balzamico · 29/12/2021 23:21

So, if you're safe. he's the same ( presumably horrible) person that he was before you left.
If you're not in danger then can you disengage as far as possible until you come home?
Take the time to read up in what ion need to do and make a plan

PurpleDaisies · 29/12/2021 23:22

Other things?

Don’t fall for the sunk costs fallacy. Whatever you feel you’ve wasted on the holiday is worth it for getting home safely.

Sodullincomparison · 29/12/2021 23:23

Forgot the money- just make sure you are safe.

Either by booking into a different hotel or getting a flight home earlier.

Don’t give the all inclusive part or the holiday cost another thought. Just get yourself away if he is being venomous.

SituationCritical · 29/12/2021 23:24

Slapping is absolutely unforgivable, I'm so sorry. You do need to remove yourself from him ASAP. What country are you in? Would the police be an option? Have you spoken with the hotel about another room while you look for flights home?

namechanged221 · 29/12/2021 23:24

If he's slapped you then I'd contact local police. You could do they through the hotel or tour operator

You need some help now. Please don't be afraid to ask for it.

Momijin · 29/12/2021 23:27

Bloody hell. Call the hotel management and the police.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 29/12/2021 23:29

I’m sorry. Do you feel able to say which country you’re in? Is it one in which men and women are treated equally/ fairly? Or are there any holiday reps etc at the hotel? If you’re able to report this to them then they may be able to help get you into a safer room considering he has been physically violent towards you.

BasicDad · 29/12/2021 23:29

Forget about the all inclusive annoyance and try and find somewhere else in the region of its affordable. And then try and spend some time on your own on holiday without him...assuming you're in an ok state of mind.

Yes. Follow up with the police. I'm not sure what foreign police can do though. And don't disclose to him where you are at all.

Worst case. See if you can get back home.

Longdistance · 29/12/2021 23:31

Depends on the country you are in whether they take DV seriously or not.
Have you asked for another room at the hotel? And stay in it until you get the flight back?

Original poster
notthatonethisone · 29/12/2021 23:31

Thank you.

Yes I know about sunken costs. I'm gutted to miss my holiday but absolutely no way I'm staying. That's why I say it's unforgivable.

It's a small African country. So bugger all infrastructure.

He's asleep now so I feel safe for the minute. Also sorry if I disappear but there's a time difference. I'm about to crash too

He said he'd sent his son a text to cover his back saying what a fucking nightmare I was being on holiday and that i'd taken an overdose

I took an extra nytol as I need to sleep. But I'm so wired I didn't think I could. He said he's texted his son in case it came back to bite him etc that he has something saying it's all my fault! The hotel staff have seen him shouting at me and me crying today. He said it looked bad on him.

Again apologises. I probably am going to crash soon. I know it's about 11 in the uk. But I am here and I am listening. And I'm okay

OP posts:
mumofEandE · 29/12/2021 23:31

@Momijin

Bloody hell. Call the hotel management and the police.
This! Please do this
SituationCritical · 29/12/2021 23:37

Oh OP FlowersHave you at least got a separate area to sleep in away from him for tonight? Can you lock a door? Or ask staff for another room? He sounds like a piece of work. I'd get up early tomorrow and do your flight research in the hotel lobby in the view of staff. I'd rather just go home I think than hang around. Please stay safe

RevolvingPivot · 29/12/2021 23:38

Why had he told your son you overdosed? Has he given you extra pills you don't know about? Can you make yourself be sick to be sure?

Is he drunk / drugged? What rational person would cover their back by texting their child this?

Sodullincomparison · 29/12/2021 23:40

Get your passport and wallet and go speak to reception and ask them to arrange a lift to the airport.

It doesn’t sound safe to me.

FlowerFlour · 29/12/2021 23:40

As soon as you wake up pack your things and go. Ask the hotel staff to organise you transport to another place / Town / City. Book into a different hotel.

Try to change your flight home, but if you can't, just hole up in a different hotel until your flight back. Don't tell him where you're going or communicate with him, turn off 'Find my Friends' if he has you set up.

I hope you're ok, he sounds horrendous. Please never contact him again once you get back home. As soon as he got you alone (i.e. you couldn't easily escape like you could in the UK) he hit you.

RogueV · 29/12/2021 23:58

He sounds awful. Hope you manage to get away from him Flowers