Hi,
I don’t want to go in too many details but I lost someone very close and dear to me.
As you would expect I’m a confused mess at the moment. And maybe that’s why with all the added stress I feel like my partner is a bit… unsupportive?!
I know he probably means all good and well to me but it comes out almost… a bit like he doesn’t care, I don’t know. He says all the right things I guess but honestly I wish he would say nothing.
He doesn’t understand that I need just a good cry, curl up in bed and to be left alone, that sometimes I don’t want to go out and he just turns around and does the “pfff” thing.
Whenever the tears come suddenly he’s hugging me but at the same time keeps saying that it’s ok, everybody’s gonna die. Man, just tell me to cry, get it all out not telling me it’s ok. Last night I wanted to show him the last picture of the person in my phone and he just took it away saying that I don’t need to see it, he’s gone now.
Whenever I try to tell some memory of us, he’s listening but at the end he’s start to talk about death again and what’s his opinion what happens when we die. I don’t need it, just listen and give me hug or tell me cry it all out.
According to him I need to be strong but I can’t now… and I don’t want to be strong now when everything is so raw that I can barely breathe.
It’s almost like I’m not allowed to grieve.. I’m sure whenever he does it’s with the best intentions but it sounds to…meh.
Sorry for the rant, I guess I just needed to get this one out too.