I need help regarding abusive ex contacting family

[nalabae]

Please excuse spelling and grammar, i am in a very bad way right now and it doesnt matter.

Ex of 3 years, abused me both with his hands and with his words. He rinsed me financially to the point i have 0 savings left.

He forced me to invest in his "great ideas" which left me with a broken down car which has been in the garage for over a year (another story not needed to explain right now)

my dad is aware of this yet is happy to keep talking to him and covering it up by saying "i just want you to get your money back"

i have repeat told my dad he is controlling me with speaking to you and you entertain it yet my dad says things to him like "i dont want to fall out with you or my daughter"

my sister turned up at my dads and saw ex sitting there as my dad asked him to bring round some alcohol.

Ex has told my dad personal things about me like i was pregnant with him and had abortions, forwarded messages i sent to him to my dad which contained personal info

i have contacted the police who have not been helpful

i need this man out of my life, i feel like cutting off my dad/sister because rather than tell him to stop contacting them they entertain him.

why should i have to beg my dad/sister to not speak to someone they only know via me and who they know has abused me and made me feel suicidal

i tried to get a non mol and i dont have the right paperwork for legal aid i dont know what to do

police have said because he isnt saying threats ect him contacting my dad pretending to be friends with him is okay, hm forwarding messages or making accusations about me is okay to police

If they can't respect you on this, cut them off. The pain of that kind of betrayal isn't something you need in your life. Chances are they will get the message and stop. If not, that's their loss.

My abusive ex tried to do the same kind of thing when we first split and even years later given the opportunity he still will. People who haven't been through it don't understand it's all about manipulation.

It's poor judgement on your dad and sisters part. They should be more loyal to you. There's a chance they are just being friendly to keep the peace. Or maybe they like your ex and he's persuaded them that he isn't abusive. I wouldn't throw away your relationship with your family, then your ex really has won.

Instead tell your dad and sister you're not happy with them speaking to him. Then just keep your relationship friendly but don't tel them much.

Eventually your ex will get bored of his game when he isn't getting a rise from you.

With the greatest if respect your father is weak and pathetic! He should be supporting you 100% rather than siding with your twat ex. Sadly you're going to have to cut them both out of your life.

With someone like this, you cannot stay in contact with people who have contact with him.

Cut them off. He'll soon stop using them once he knows he can't get to you through them.

They are condoning his abuse by staying in contact with him, knowing what he's done. They don't deserve you in their lives.

Cut them off.

Protect yourself from him and them.

My dad and sister have said they won’t speak to him. I told them if they do I cannot have them in my life. My sister said “she doesn’t like threats” she always been a selfish cow but I will give them one more chance

Not a threat, a promise/statement of intent.

You don't need disloyal people in your life.

Probably best to tell her nothing if she is a PITA.

Good luck.

Cut them off. Fully.

Cut them off. My ex brainwashed my family.. I went to a family funeral where nobody spoke to me. Exh was flavour of the month. When we were together they had never even met him!!

Don't give them one more chance to abuse you. Which is what choosing an abuser over their own sister is. Emotional abuse.

It is likely that you ended up with an abusive partner in the first place because of being brought up by and alongside these selfish wankers who to this day, still act like you mean nothing to them in order to make you feel small.

They are just the same thing he is.

Its very common that the only people abusive people in your life like are other people in your life who don't want good things for you.

My dad would so do that. As a man, he has a deep respect for other men, who he values highly. And no respect for women at all. It's a patriarchy. I hope your dad and sister stick to what they've said.