Being kind

[Parrotsandpussies]

How do you stop yourself being snappy? I'd like to think of myself as a kind person but am aware I can be snappy when stressed. What can I do to work on this?

The easiest way would probably to manage yourself so that you don't get stressed. We are all exposed to stressors, but becoming stressed is almost always within our ability to control.

Thank you. That is probably what I need to work on then. I'm not really sure how. My job and living conditions will remain stressful. I guess I need to work on my response? Get enough sleep, exercise etc?

You can search online and find something that'll work for you - I start trying to say the alphabet backwards in my head! I rarely snap now because I've confused myself in my head 😂

It may sound silly, but the old "count to ten" often stops snappiness.

There are things you can control, there are things you can't, accepting that is one of the first steps, don't be angry that up is up, that something that you know will happen and cannot change happens.

Work out what you find stressful about your work and living conditions, look to change what you can, mitigate what you cannot. Potentially changing jobs, or changing where you live.

Getting enough sleep is very important, as is regular exercise, which also improves sleep quality for most people. Eating a healthy balanced diet is also important, sugar rushes and crashes have a huge impact on mood for example.

What do you find particularly stressful, how do you think you could manage those things better?

I can be like that, not so much post menopause. Now I stop what I'm doing, take a very deep breath and breathe out the stress, make myself float above it. Then once calm I apologise to whoever it was I snapped at. That last bit works wonders tbh. Apologising makes everything calmer and more relaxed. Even if you weren't in the wrong. My gd can get stressed but she loves to sing so I've taught her to sing the stress away. Apparently it works for her 👍

Meditation and mindfulness (I use the Headspace app) has really helped me with snapping. You've done well to recognise and dislike your snappiness so far though so well on your way to dealing with your issues.

Thank you for the comments and ideas! I've made massive changes in the past 4 years and this next 9 months is, i guess, the final push. I'm in the process of leaving my partner, hence home being stressful. But i need to stay calm so i can be productive and actually go.....

What is it you hope to achieve when you snap at someone? That they’ll take your anger more seriously? Maybe think about how to express your feelings and convey them so you get the same outcome without snapping.

Look up the 4-7-8 breath technique, it’s really helped me deal with stress. I do it when I’m driving , so it doesn’t even take up any time