Can anyone advise on how DH can help / advise his mum about a situation with his brother, who seems to be agoraphobic and hasn't been outside in years? Not sure if anyone who works in social services, or mental health might read this but we are at a loss.
Basically, DH's younger brother is 25 and still lives at home with his Mum (my MIL, divorced, has 4 adult children). DH is 10 years older and we live about 6 hours away so they are not particularly close. At 17 BIL dropped out of 6th form and basically has done nothing since then. At first MIL tried to encourage him to get a part time job in retail but he hated it due to social anxiety. He then went on benefit, but that was stopped after he stopped looking for a job. He now, literally spends everyday all day in his bedroom watching things on his laptop. MIL says it's always the same science fiction animation series. She doesn't think he goes online.
Most worryingly, since 2018 he hasn't been out anywhere, and since the end of 2019 he hasn't set foot out of the house even for a walk. He refuses to do so. MIL has tried to encourage it but he went out less and less and now refuses entirely.
BIL barely speaks and when we visited for Xmas he mumbled hi and that was all I heard him say. MIL made him come downstairs and see DH when we arrived but as soon as he could he went back upstairs and stayed in his room.
MIL cooks him dinner every night and he eats it alone in his room. He goes to bed early and gets up early apparently, but just stays in his room. He doesn't drink or do drugs, has no friends and has never had a relationship.
Due to Covid, DH hadn't seen BIL in person for a couple of years and was shocked at how much he had declined - before he used to come across as painfully shy but now he's just like a lost invisible soul.
Over the years DH has tried to talk to MIL about BIL. He encouraged her to take BIL to the GP some years ago and ask for a referral. MIL says BIL is currently on a waiting list for therapy but BIL doesn't want to do it and so much time has passed.
DH has tried talking to MIL but she seems quite blinkered about how bad it is. She likes having BIL at home and feeling needed, thinks DH.
Anyway after seeing poor BIL over Xmas DH and I would like to try and help him but have no idea of the best next step. It's obviously not our place to stick our noses in but at the same time seeing the situation from a distance means that DH can see how bad things are whereas MIL seems to be oblivious. DH is really worried about BIL, his mental health, his physical health and the future for him. Basically MIL wasn't able to go on holiday this year as she was worried about leaving BIL and what he would do if the house burned down - would he stay inside. So she is essentially his full time carer. However when DH raises this she brushes it off or just says BIL is very shy.
Can anyone suggest anything?