My 42 year old husband has no self control when it comes to drinking. He isn't a regular drinker during the working week at all. He rarely drinks Mon-Fri but he will drink all through the summer and Christmas holidays in the evenings. I won't share a bed with him when he's been drinking because he snores loudly so he happily sleeps in the spare room so that he can drink. If I try speaking to him about choosing drinking over intimacy, he snaps at me. He generally just drinks craft beer, which he treats as some sort of hobby and will have 3 or 4 a night so hardly excessive.
However, he will go completely stupid if we're out together or with friends and always drinks to excess. I have to make sure I don't have too many because one of us needs to be on hand for the children during the night as the 3 year old wakes up a lot. If I tell him "you still need to be able to parent" he jumps down my throat.
On boxing night, he was drinking with my brothers and brought out a 70% russian spirit. All of us had a sip and said no way. He proceeded to guzzle two shots of this one after the other. I said no more and to drink some water. My brothers were staying over meaning I needed to bed share with him. He told me "don't patronise me" and drank another one.
He is not a nice drunk as he becomes confrontational. My brothers think it's funny as he's so accommodating the rest of the time. I don't find it funny. I went to bed and then had the most awful night's sleep I've had since the newborn days and ended up trying to sleep on the floor. The 3 year old fell out of bed during the night and I ended up in her room for a while too. He was in a total coma.
The next day, my brothers left early which I was annoyed about as the house was a mess after our get together and there was still food out to be cleared away. DH left it all to me as he stayed in bed until 5pm rje following day, throwing up.
My day was totally ruined as I spent it looking after 2 young kids on very little sleep, trying to clear up. Needless to say, I've had a lie-in this morning and he has got the children ready etc without me needing to ask. He has said sorry but it doesn't change that whenever we're out or with other people he has no self control when it comes to booze. I don't find it remotely attractive and although I've had strong words with him this morning, something within me is saying, enough is enough.