Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Instagram likes

36 replies

Bee2728 · 28/12/2021 10:58

Hi, I’m 51 newly divorced and in relationship with a 57 yr old man. Everything is great except I have found that he follows hundreds of Instagram account of girls, many aged 18-27, and sends likes to their pictures. Is this something that is acceptable now in the digital age. It makes me very uncomfortable but I don’t know what to do about it.

OP posts:

Tomatobear · 28/12/2021 20:10

Good luck OP

Tealtalk · 28/12/2021 20:36

Op I believe only insecure women out uo with this type of behaviour , women who don’t believe they are worth respect
Don’t listen to anyone who tries to flip the scrip and tell you that you are simply insecure
It’s sleazy gross behaviour . If you would t accept it in public then why should you accept it on a computer
Good for you for standing up to this sleazy behaviour

Tealtalk · 28/12/2021 20:38

By the way women don’t have to accept and compromise on mysogyny and sleaze its 2021 :)
Yet to see one woman in her fifties liking pictures of 20 year old men with their assets hanging out like Instagram is full of with women

Alcemeg · 28/12/2021 20:42

I do think that generation of men, and older, can often see women as luxury items, like a fast car/motorbike. It's the way they were brought up to see things, unfortunately (not all of them, obvs, but still!).

LolaSmiles · 28/12/2021 20:47

If you were getting wound up because he liked photos on Instagram of people he knows who happen to be women younger than him then I'd probably say you're fine to have that boundary, but it's also not inherently wrong of him to like their photos. That would be something where only you could decide if the relationship was worth exploring your insecurities vs holding that boundary.

The fact that he is in his 60s, follows lots of young women on Instagram and is liking their photos still seems a bit letchy and creepy to me. I'd be willing to bet he doesn't know most of them and most of the photos are varying levels of suggestive / in various states of undress. That's not a sign that a man respects women. You're better off without him.

Cas112 · 28/12/2021 20:52

For his age no, it's minging

mewkins · 28/12/2021 21:00

My guess is he doesn't realise that you can see that he follows and likes these accounts. I think you should bring it up with him. He will either be embarrassed and say he will stop or will get defensive and tell you that it's totally normal and the problem is your insecurities.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 28/12/2021 21:21

I just couldn't be with a dude that age who is on social media. FFS, has he no life??

Closetbeanmuncher · 29/12/2021 01:24

Thirsty and grubby.

Oneforthemoneytwo · 29/12/2021 13:15

It genuinely wouldn’t bother me. I would find it a bit sad but if he was into me and the relationship was good I couldn’t get worked up over it

desperatehousewife21 · 29/12/2021 13:55

This is interesting to read. Me and DH are in our thirties but I wouldn’t be happy with him liking/ following hundreds of half naked women, of any age!! It’s the disrespect for me, and also he wouldn’t like me posting half naked pics of myself online, yet he’s happy to ogle other women doing it. Double standards.

Flip

1 2