I can’t stand my DF when he drinks - wwyd?

[20thCenturyFoxes]

DF is father not fiancé. He drinks to excess every day, he doesn’t drink during the day but usually starts around 4pm. He slurs his words and tells rambling stories he’s told many times before but forgotten and gets sneery and nasty to my DM. I know this is horrible but I hate being around him when he’s drinking. I’ve tried to talk to him about how much he drinks but he’s in denial. I don’t know what to do.

The reality is that nothing will change until he has decided to change/he has a problem.

I imagine you are not living in the same house?
Apart from your mother nit facilitating him by buying the alcohol, there is little she can do too.

There is a point where you and she need to ask yourselves if living with him/seeing him after 4.00pm is still acceptable though.

@20thCenturyFoxes
That sounds hard and upsetting. Has this always been his drinking pattern or is it new behaviour? Perhaps talking to your Mum may offer a pathway for you to both speak to him. If the behaviour is enabled by loved ones not saying anything then I doubt it'll ever change. In my experience of same thing with DP the only way to push change is to present a consequence, eg. "When you overdrink I feel uncomfortable, worried and upset therefore I can't spend social time with you when alcohol is involved". Can you make him the designated driver and go to a restaurant... Its not your duty to tolerate his alcohol abuse and although hard he has a problem. It might help to only spend time with your DM but not take him with you. May help the message sink in.

Move out, never go back. I have gone lc with my alcoholic mother. Her extended family like to guilt me about what they do for her, but they had a choice, they didn’t have to get so involved. I’m just not interested at all. She can fuck right off, given the childhood she gave me.