I've just about had enough! My relationship ended with my partner 15 months ago. We have a mortgage and 2 young kids. I have not worked for 2 years but will be returning to work after an operation I'm awaiting. This will completely change my life and my children will both be at school come September.
When we split it took him 8 months to agree it was over. He insisted he'd wait. He wouldn't talk about the house. The kids. The plan. He hoped we'd sort it. But we were dead. I know it sounds horrible but the very thought of kissing him or having sex with him just wasn't happening. His personality and interests were so far away from mine. But what really frustrates me about him is he's messy. He never completes a task. He never sorts anything in the house. Yes fantastic with the kids. But he creates so much mess. The office he works in at home stinks. Cobwebs hang below the ceiling. Dust. Never once cleans in there. He's slow at getting ready. Takes forever to poo and shower and overall just slow! Same with the garden. He drives but tip runs and general maintenence never gets done.
I chase my tail constantly. All I can describe it as is, i constantly feel overwhelmed. There is always so much to do and I am feeling so miserable because I'm still waiting for him to decide with me about our house and living apart. I don't want to live with him anymore. I don't wanna cook or clean or wash his clothes.
I've started a new relationship 5 months ago and he's very understanding of my situation..he's patient and supportive. When I'm with him I feel like an adult. But the minute I come home my heart sinks at the mess. I came back home this morning after a night away for boxing day. I wanted to put washing on and take the clothes up and sort the kids new toys. But I was greeted with a sink full of pots. Living room messy with toys. 3 binbags of Christmas rubbish still sat by the door. No bread. Upstairs 2 days of exes clothes slung on bathroom floor. I went into my daughters room.. he put her new desk together. But did he sort her room first? Nope he's piled everything else up at one end of the room to fit the desk in. It will take me 2 hours on average to sort her room. Several more hours to tidy up the rest of the house before I can even consider cleaning it.
I am miserable. I can't ever enjoy anything because he's so useless. I can get it spotless and in a day or 2 he's destroyed it and allowed the kids to help. I keep thinking how nice it would be to not have this chaos anymore. I want a home I can manage so I can be a good mum to my children. My life revolves around this and money is obviously the issue. People keep saying to me usually the dad will move out whilst things are sorted out. But he's wanting to continue this ridiculous cycle. I've had enough. I don't feel a good mum. I feel like I've got no options right now and I feel so alone. I don't know what to do.