How to communicate without sounding needy?

[Happyhun08]

Been seeing this guy for a couple of months and just had enough with the way he texts me, he sometimes takes 24 hours or a couple of hours but i feel like i'm not getting anywhere and personally it doesn't work for me. How do i send a calm message just asking him why he takes so long and if he's basically interested, i just don't know how to word it.

Maybe he’s just busy? How quickly do you expect him to respond? I think you may be expecting a bit too much if you think it’s unacceptable to go a few hours between messages

You clearly aren’t ready if no reply after 2-24 hours is causing you anxiety. If he’s not right, move on. Personally, I’d say you were being needy if you need constant communication.

Sorry i meant 5 hours is probably the quickest reply i get even when he is active on social medias

Been here, many times. There is no way to say it without looking needy I'm afraid. That's because you're human and you NEED things. Whenever I've mentioned it to past bfs, they end up making me feel like I'm too much. And I am. For them.

Currently seeing a guy who is great with communication and we are flying

Are you currently waiting on a reply? I think it would be a bad idea to say something over text, if it’s only been 2 months then he either is not into texting much or he’s not into you much. Do you reply to his messages straight away? I would be tempted to stop doing that and as it’s bothering you mention it next time you see him face to face.

If he's keen he will text. My friends forever experiencing this through dating apps. Ofcourse there's a variety of things. People are working, driving, caring for kids etc. You can't expect them to be messaging you whilst busy. But it doesn't take long to explain I'm busy buy I'll message you on such and such.

You're not needy, you just have needs.

However it sounds like your communication styles just aren't compatible.

You could say

"Hey, just been waiting on your reply and noticed that as usual, you don't reply that quickly. I like to message quite frequently, I think regular communication is important as we get to know each other. Do you think this is something we could compromise on or is it not an important factor to you?"

If he says it's not important then you would need to evaluate your compatibility.

Its not needy to want timely replies in the early stages of dating. Those who think waiting 24h to hear back from someone youre intimate with in the early stages of dating is fine....they aren't people who are dating. People get busy yes but they're also always near a phone. If he's openly and obviously active on SM and ignoring a text from you I honestly wouldn't say a word about your needs, I'd just end it. People who are into other people....show that they are

You just need someone who matches your communication frequency and style. There's no right or wrong in situations like this, just compatibility or not.

Don’t say anything. If it isn’t working for you move on

Why don't you just ring him? That way you'll hear if he's happy to hear from you or not.

I think one of the keys to finding a good relationship is learning to own your needs and be ok with whatever boundaries you have.

There is no way of saying “this bothers me” that ensures that the other person will think/respond a certain way.

But when you get comfortable with yourself, you are able to put it out there and then filter out the men who aren’t right for you by the responses you get.

Wanting a response within a certain timeframe doesn’t make you needy, but it may make you incompatible with some people. And that’s ok.