Can you be self acceptance (of body) and self conscious at the same time?

[2015StayAtHomeWife]

Sorry for my English, both me and my husband we not westerners.

Ask ladies if you can help give some input/advice on this. My question, can you be self acceptance of your body, but then be self conscious at the same time? How to loosen up the self conscious part?

Throughout the 7 years of our marriage, my husband always initiate the two of us shower together, as much as we can whenever we can (for the emotional connection). We both are not fans of shower sex as we don't like the water pouring down on us. So it has nothing related to sex.
My husband said he deeply emotionally attached to me, he said he wants to feel close to me emotionally. And I'm trying to give him that connection he wants.

There nothing pretty about my body naked, sagging boobs, stretch marks all over my belly, nothing pretty about my vagina neither. There times where months when my legs, feet and calves were HUGELY swollen. My husband kneel down and gently rubs my swollen feet and calves in the shower. He helps cleans me, he kissed my belly where it full of stretch marks and somewhat bit loose wrinkle skin. (and I'm self conscious).

He wants me to talk to him in the shower, open up to him, tell him what bothering me. There times when we talked, and we both teared up and cried.

My hair has thin so much, it started massively falling out shortly after I recovered from being sick. He washed my hair so he knows how much hair falling out on his hands. But he still kissed my forehead and the top of my head (and I'm very conscious about my hair).

I always dress low maintenance, I never wear make up. I'm comfortable that way. And I don't hide my thinning hair thinning neither.
And I do remind myself that if my husband don't mind about how my body looks, why do I have to mind.

But my brain is self conscious. It keeps tell me, my husband is 186cm tall and slim, lean muscles, zero fat on his body, just very fit. He does runs long distance and swim long distance, so he very fit. He still look exactly fit like when I met him 11 years ago. But then look at me? I'm nothing like him.

I really have self acceptance of my body, it just my brain it self conscious about it. Any ladies here experience similar?

Yes definitely, I have put on alot of weight over the years, saggy skin and dont look as nice as I did. I am aware however that there are reasons for this and proud that I have 2 children and a hectic life which has meant I just haven't had the motivation to lose some weight and get fitter.
I wear different clothes to what I used to as I would feel very self conscious in the styles I used to wear and wouldn't be at all comfortable. I also dont think they would flatter my shape anymore.

I think it is normal to accept your body for what it is but still have certain circumstances or different levels of undress where you dont feel comfortable. Nothing wrong with that.

Sounds like you have a close relationship and he just loves you as you are. How nice.

Thank you Caka2. Happy New Year 2022 to you!

We married 7 years, and he still says things like: He loves me very much. He had sworn to himself, that for me, he willing to do anything. He devoted his entire life to me. He still thinking about me constantly. He still crazy about me. Lol. I just giggles every time.

And we wasn't young when we got married.

And
He been doing this for 7 years. He literally kiss my butt cheek. and it has nothing to do with sex at all. Just randomly thing he does.

Whether it sleep or play on my tablet/phone, whenever he see me lay in bed on my stomach, he went up and put his lips on my butt cheek and kissed it.

When it cold, sometimes I have part of the blanket over cover my butt. If he came in and see me lay on my stomach, he gently move the blanket off and kiss my butt cheek, and put the blanket back on for me. (you see it like he go out of his way to do it, lol).

He never do anything disrespectful to my butt. He never like those bite slap gropes spank stuff (he very vanilla), he said he prefers use his lips. So he just simply put his lips on my butt cheek and kiss it, a gentle slow kiss type.

And he still do it after all these years. Randomly.

It is normal? When we married (he was 29 and I was 30) it okay.
But it 7 years later after tied the knot already, we 36 and 37 now. You know, like we not young anymore for him to keep does those.