No contact with parents Christmas Day

[Atadunsure]

I live in Australia and my parents in the UK. They said they would contact on UK Christmas Day and failed to do so.
They contacted on Christmas Day Australia time in the morning which was lovely. They said they would then FaceTime in 10 hours when it was their Christmas Day. However, no call and no FaceTime came through. I thought fair enough as they had my brother, sister in law and friend over on Christmas day and so they must be busy. Due to no call I thought that I would contact them at about 11.30am their time. I was about to contact when I got a text message from my sister in law saying thank you for a present and they were going to the pub. So, I sent a text through to my mum saying Merry Christmas, hope they’re having a good day and chat when they’re free. No message came back through. I was devastated, I mean truly devastated.
Boxing Day morning Australia time (UK Christmas Day evening) I checked my phone and my Mum had sent through a number of photos saying what a great time they’d had. I thought at the point I would Facetime but I was so upset, no missed call from them or anything. I just wrote back that the photos looked great and left it there.
I contacted them on their Boxing Day morning via WhatsApp and I got a very brief message back about their day. I chirpily responded but there was no follow up message from them.
So we then get to their Boxing Day evening, (Australia morning on 27th.) I asked if I could FaceTime and my mum FaceTimed straight away. Everyone over there seemed fine and chatting away like there was no issue whatsoever.
I feel so upset now, maybe out of all reasonableness. I’m in my forties and have been really teary, trying to hide it from my husband and older boys. I don’t have a relationship with my parents where I can voice if I am upset or hurt. In fact if I were to tell them they would feel angry if not livid.
Am I being unreasonable or would anyone else feel hurt too? Many thanks.

I'm sure none of it was done to make you feel upset. To be honest... I find it a real nuisance to stop what we're doing to have FaceTime calls with family overseas. We had to do it today and it was a pain - I was all cosy on the sofa, finally getting 5 minutes to myself and had to get up, look smart and listen to family members talking all over each other.

You spoke to your mum today when she had time to give you her full attention, which is far better than a half-hearted rushed 5 minutes. Don't be sad! Be happy that everyone had a good time and that your mum waited to speak to you properly.

You did facetime them on your Christmas day. And it sounds like you maintained a level of contact throughout Christmas (photos sent to you, presumably unsociable sleeping hours for you) and Boxing day facetime.

Yes they said they would facetime again in 10 hours but things get forgotten, plans change, perhaps they were drunk etc.

How you describe how you are feeling, as an adult woman surrounded by her own family, sounds all like a bit of an overreaction from you. Although your final couple of sentences hint at a back story so I suspect there is more to this.

Yes (kindly) YABU

They did FaceTime you on your C’mas day morning and stayed in touch throughout. They clearly care about you and want to share the experience.

But they also need to celebrate and enjoy their day with the people who are actually with them. To enjoy Christmas you need to go with the flow, and having multiple FaceTime appointments would ruin that. You did choose to move to Aus, and you cannot expect them to organise their Christmas around that choice.

As you say you are in your 40s w your own family, living many thousands of miles away. Your lives have diverged. You need to accept that and enjoy a level of contact that is realistic. If this is hard then dig a bit deeper to see what’s going on with you.

I opened this thread thinking it would be about being estranged.

You are being a bit U, they were in contact with you.

I think you are homesick 😪💐

Ps, what you say about not being allowed to give any feedback to yr parents is more significant i think

There is literally no way for you to change anything. You cant tell them your needs, as that would make them angry and defensive.

And yet you miss them. It's conflicting.

My parents also accept zero negative feedback. It makes genuine connection very hard. To be on the other side of the world and yet unable to connect better must be heartbreaking.