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Relationships

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Original poster

Partner doesn’t like sister

12 replies

Jen890 · 26/12/2021 21:48

Looking for some advice. My partner doesn’t like my sister and I don’t know where to go with it. He thinks my sister is selfish and self centred and tbh at times she is. The problem is, she is still my sister and it hurts me.

She doesn’t know how he feels as he is always polite in her company for me, but she doesn’t help herself like not even giving him a card on his birthday (I give her husband a card and gift) and she didn’t even buy our son a gift when he was born, so this annoyed him too.

She’s not a bad person and has a lot of good qualities, but I wish I could highlight a few things to her without telling her how my partner feels, in the hope she listens and makes some changes.

OP posts:

KylieKangaroo · 26/12/2021 22:07

I think you are fighting a losing battle there, as long as he is civil and they don't argue then that's all you can ask for. My partner doesn't particularly like some of my family but the way I see it you can't force people to get along, just do the best you can!

UnsuitableHat · 26/12/2021 22:10

Difficult one but probably best to let them sort their relationship out for themselves. Don’t ask your sister to change to suit your partner.

DowntonCrabby · 26/12/2021 22:13

Why are you trying to change her? Surely you can see her as often as you want alone and DP can continue to be polite during the family times he has to be in her company? Does it affect his/your life that she’s allegedly selfish?

SportsMother · 26/12/2021 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleDaisies · 26/12/2021 22:22

She’s not a bad person and has a lot of good qualities, but I wish I could highlight a few things to her without telling her how my partner feels, in the hope she listens and makes some changes.

Are these concerns you have independent of what your partner thinks? I’m not sure how he comes into it.

Lennon80 · 26/12/2021 22:23

If he’s polite it’s not a problem. You said yourself she is selfish and self centred but she your sister so you can over look that, he can’t as she’s not his. Look on the bright side, At least you know he won’t ever fancy her..

KylieKangaroo · 26/12/2021 22:28

@lennon80 a fine line between love and hate

Coatandhat · 26/12/2021 22:51

I feel your pain OP. DH told me years ago that he just doesn't like my sister. Ever since then, I am keenly aware that he gets worked up in advance of family gatherings and sometimes is very short with her. I think it was unfair of him to tell me and I just feel stuck in the middle.

Pinkchocolate · 26/12/2021 22:57

You can’t force people to like each other. Accept that they are civil and leave them to it.

arcticfoxed · 27/12/2021 10:52

He doesn’t like her but is polite to her. What is it you think should change beyond that?

He’s allowed to dislike her!

arcticfoxed · 27/12/2021 10:52

Also why would your husband give her a separate card on her birthday? Why don’t you do one joint one from you as a couple?

PurpleDaisies · 27/12/2021 10:53

I agree that separate cards/presents is not normal.

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