I caught up with an old school friend today. Both of us united by the fact we’re likely going to break up with our long-term partners over issues to do with compatibility. Me and my mate are 31 FWIW. Neither have children. He’s a gay man and I’m a career woman with no kids.
Both of us were agonising over the fact that separately we’re with really nice men, but that there are fundamental things that make the relationships hard. Both wondering ‘is this it?’
When I hang out with women my own age i often hear tales of how their male partners have been inconsiderate/lazy etc. It’s always spoken about in a ‘that’s men for you’ kind of way and secretly I feel quite despairing when I hear how fed up they are. I see similar stories pan out on these boards and often wonder why people put up with the things they do. Aren’t relationships meant to be easy for the most part? Or am I being terribly naive?
In my case my partner chose not to go on a trip that I had bought us for Xmas, meaning I have lost a fair bit of money. I was inconsolable about this two days ago and he’s made some amends but I have been querying the relationship for a while for other reasons. Outside of those reasons I can see he’s a brilliant guy.
In my mate’s case, his partner is not interested in sex and they bicker non-stop.
So this leads me to wonder: how do you know when it’s worth working out versus either you move on? Selfishly I’m looking at 2022 and feeling pretty daunted by another year of WFH and what feels like Groundhog Day, especially without my partner in the equation. I live alone and can’t bear the thought of making a real mistake.
Do you go with your heart or your head? And is it the majority of relationships that seem to bring about stress and irritation for the woman involved - or just the ones I’m hearing about?
TiA