Shit Christmas Day

[amiaidiot]

My oh has caught COVID so is isolating it's been quite tough we're all sick but he's the only one with COVID.

Today was ok, very chilled but nothing like the christmases in used to. We played with the kids most of the day.

One thing that's really starting to get on my nerves is his phone it's constantly in his hand he's not even texting anyone he's just constantly playing a game. So when you talk to him the first time he completely ignores you. Even does it to the kids.

I've always wanted to get engaged we've been together for years. Last night I mentioned something about going away and he didn't listen so I got abit annoyed to replied your constantly going on about something wanting a ring blah blah blah. Was really rude to me tbh I got quite upset. What I wanted to tell him was I don't go on about anything, but I do think that occasionally I deserve something nice all I got for christmas was a mug and some money because he couldn't think of anything. And on the ring side of it we'll shove it where the sun don't shine who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be engaged and make the commitment.
I feel like the next time he says something like that I might just say don't bother I'll wait for someone who actually loves me enough to want to do something nice for me.

This isn't a new relationship we've been together almost a decade have 2 kids and a house. I'm just feeling really shit, unsure if that fact we're all I'll doesn't help.

Sorry you’re feeling I’ll and rubbish, it’s never nice at Xmas.

Before MN piles in and tells you you’re a mug to have had children before getting engaged and married, it seems like there’s a few issues here:

illness and being tetchy/irritable because of that - temporary, hopefully.
Rudeness and phone obsession - seems like it needs a serious, calm talk when you’re all better. Games or scrolling when children need your attention isn’t on, and I’m sure deep down he knows that. Calmly say that you both want to be more present around the kids, and that games are for after bedtime, etc. call him out on it each time.
Engagement - hmm. You’ve been together a long time, with children… are you expecting a surprise proposal? If you want to get married, ask him - again, calmly and not in the aftermath of a spat - that you want to marry and want to make a date and arrangements to do so. His reaction will speak volumes.

I feel like the next time he says something like that I might just say don't bother I'll wait for someone who actually loves me enough to want to do something nice for me.

I understand the frustration but I don’t think this will help matters. Honestly though, I’m not sure I’d want to marry someone who was rude and dismissive, told me I was going on about things and ignored me whilst playing on his phone.

Are you sure he wants to marry you? I mean have to both actually discussed what marrying someone means, maybe he’s just not ready or he finds you wanting this as much as you do off putting. Would it be the end of the world if you didn’t get engaged/marry him?

He isn't very enthusiastic about your relationship or family life. In all truth a lot of men aren't. Its just that day to day life provides distraction and less time together masks it. Now thrown together in isolation and not well, its become obvious. You could split up and try to find someone better, but it won't be guaranteed that you will. You could just accept that its not perfect and plod on like many do. Or you could try life as a single parent. All options have pros and cons. None are ideal.