Stop me texting...

[EthicalNom]

Got dumped by relatively new boyfriend on 22nd. I was overly needy, he's a bit crap at emotional connection and basically ran away. I don't think I still want him and I also know the only way to both get over him and (should this faint chance happen) get him to reactivate again - is complete no contact. But... BWAHHHHHHH. I have to keep reminding myself that if I contact him it will make him feel as awful as I feel not contacting him.

I get it
Bobcat me too ! Sent a nice
Message and got a fucking happy Xmas photo back
In my case it’s distance , overseas

I need to find
Someone I like as much as him
As do you both

Stay strong 💪

the real point is that I did, in fact, need reassuring and he didn't have it in him to do it, so I need someone better placed to do that

With respect, @EthicalNom, you definitely do not need reassuring. You need to address your neediness.

Because if you dont, you'll always be at the mercy of assholes like your ex.

Ideally you should have counseling, but as a first step read Women Who Love Too Much.

Thanks @FlowerArranger - you are right, in principle, of course. I do know about how it all works & have a fair bit of therapy experience. I usually have fairly secure attachment in the normal span of relationships. He is a very extreme case of hot/cold avoidant, I had misgivings from the start but he really, really wanted to give it a go (we had been friends for many years). The issue was that I wasn't quite secure enough to allow him to range as freely as he needed - I'd have had to be an absolute zen ninja of secure attachment, as it turned out. But for the purposes of relationships with less psychologically damaged people, I'm in a good space!

Really interesting, for those who care about this kind of thing, how you can know what a dynamic is and how it might trigger you - and even knowing it all, still be blindsided by the intensity of feeling, in these primal sort of dynamics. I have been surprised that the childhood anxious triggers have kicked in for me, I thought I'd nailed them a while back. I guess he surprised me by being so textbook and dramatic in withdrawal, part of me thought "I get it, and he knows I get it, so he won't do that to me".

Just bumping this so I do Not text my overseas obsession later
I’m not texting him

Thanks !!

@Thisisworsethananticpated thank you for bumping! Found myself in the same situation today (on New Year’s Eve ffs!) and I MUST NOT text him later when drunk.

I've been ghosted since the week before Christmas... I lost my self respect and messaged a few times over Xmas... to no reply... 😭
Will be soooo sooo tempted to tonight as well... MUST NOT MESSAGE.... 😬
It's so horrible 😞
Stay strong everyone xx

Delete their contact details NOW!!!

I have deleted !!!!!!
Can everyone else

Any if he send me an anodyne meme ,I’ll delete and not reply

MarianaMassimo

Delete him now !!!!

DELETE THE CONTACTS
BURN YOUR PHONE IF YOU MUST

😂😂😂😂
Burning my phone is extreme
I can get his details from his work website if I get desperate
So I need to burn the internet 😂😂😂

I even bad ‘DO nOT TExT’ on his (now deleted ) contact

@Thisisworsethananticpated

😂😂😂😂 Burning my phone is extreme I can get his details from his work website if I get desperate So I need to burn the internet 😂😂😂

I even bad ‘DO nOT TExT’ on his (now deleted ) contact

Ah yeah I tried that one once!

Yes- his number is gone.... he's blocked on social media... but that's not great as I can unblock... and if I really wanted I realised I can look at my phone bill to get his number 😭 x
Might have to burn my phone 🤣.... x

Can we all sit tight
I’d resolved this before Xmas in my head, deleted etc
Then he texted me Xmas
Then I sent him a really nice message Xmas day
Then . He sent a fucking ‘happy christmas ‘ meme to me.

This
Cannot
Continue
My little brain 🧠 needs to forget him

Instead, text some friends(not exs) and family who love you and like to hear from you.
Think of what they meant to you over the past year and tell them.
That'd be a lovely way to start the new year.

Good advice
I just texted exes over Xmas
Damm I’m a fool

I didn’t text and he didn’t text
So that’s that
Happy 2022 to anyone who’s thing ended over the holidays

@Thisisworsethananticpated

I didn’t text and he didn’t text So that’s that Happy 2022 to anyone who’s thing ended over the holidays

Just some encouragement to you all today to NOT TEXT!

It will be tempting.

Don't do it.

One day you will forget about him.

Well done 👏
I didn't message so - Yay!
He didn't message either... 😕
Bit hungover today which makes me down and emotional so I need to be strong today too 💪
I know I'll get over it eventually... just hurts to be rejected yet again. (This is the second guy to cut me off and dissappear- clearly something wrong with me 😬!!)
Here's to 2022- my cold heart is staying frozen and no man is getting in 💙

Be strong. I also managed not to text! I've deleted his number but not blocked so I don't have it stored anywhere. Not blocked on social media but I have no temptation to message that way, oddly.

one day you will forget about him.

That’s the hope
I got weirdly and totally fixated
Like always thinking abiut that fucker
For 6 months
So forgetting is the 2022 goal !

@Thisisworsethananticpated

one day you will forget about him.

That’s the hope
I got weirdly and totally fixated
Like always thinking abiut that fucker
For 6 months
So forgetting is the 2022 goal !

Go out get pissed have a good time with your mates. Fall into the arms of a handsome stranger and have a bit of fun.

You'll soon forget about him x

Kilo , from age 16 to 29 that was my exact plan ! But now I’m a 48 year old single mum it’s way harder !!!!!!