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Original poster

Passing my number to a guy in a Christmas card…cringe?!

25 replies

Eleanoroliphantisnotfine · 24/12/2021 18:05

Could do with some opinions on whether this is a good idea or not…

There’s a guy I’ve seen out a few times whilst walking, he’s friendly and chatty and I’m pretty sure he’s single. I know where he lives (footpath goes past his house, I’m not a total stalker).

Would it be a terrible idea to pop a Christmas card through his door with my phone number in it asking if he’d like to go for a walk sometime? I’m too shy to ask in person!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
horseymum · 24/12/2021 18:09

Go for it, he might be worried about asking you. Sounds like the start of a film, hope it ends happily.

Jk24 · 24/12/2021 22:04

Do it!!!! And good luck let us know if he rings

Yamaya · 24/12/2021 22:05

Yes yes and more yes! Have you done it? Make sure to update Grin

TwinklyBranch · 24/12/2021 22:07

I bet posters would be reacting differently if a man suggested doing that to a woman. It's not a good idea.

BitterTits · 24/12/2021 22:08

Did you do it? I hope for a romantic ending but am also a bit cringe for you in case it doesn't work out and you still have to see him around.

PizzasPlease · 24/12/2021 22:09

Well only being 'pretty sure he's single' would be enough to stop me. I'd have to be certain.
I'd continue chatting a bit more to find out definitely if he is before I put my number through his door.

nancybotwinbloom · 24/12/2021 22:09

This does sound lovely op.

Did you post the card?

Merry Christmas x

MorticiaAddamsIsMyStyleGuru · 24/12/2021 22:12

One of my dearest friends did this and she has been married for over 16 years to him now! You don't know if you don't ask!
Good luck 🍀

crochetmonkey74 · 24/12/2021 22:21

This was how my first DP and I got together. I did this and gave it to him at work. Together 10 years after that

SwishSwishBisch · 24/12/2021 22:21

@TwinklyBranch but it’s not a man asking a woman. The contextual reasoning as to why it could be uncomfortable the other way around are largely safety based, and that just doesn’t really apply when it’s a woman asking a man. Equality doesn’t have to include the less savoury elements of our current societal set up ya know!

@Eleanoroliphantisnotfine I hope you give it a try, and I hope there’s a positive result!

Pickledlipstick · 24/12/2021 22:23

Yes do it! Good luck x

Thatldo · 24/12/2021 22:24

You would have to be 100% certain he is single,otherwise it will be very embarassing for you.

ShinyHappyPoster · 24/12/2021 22:25

I think you need to try a bit harder to find out if he's single or not. If he isn't, your flirty card could upset his relationship at Christmas and that would be awful.

Rangoon · 24/12/2021 22:27

I think its okay. I think it would be different if a man did it because men are more likely to be crazed stalkers statistically speaking. (Dont flame me I have lovely non-stalking sons and husband.)

I asked my husband out - I knew him slightly and rang up his work and asked him out. It was a bit unfortunate that I didnt know his surname there were two with the same quite rare first name but I eventually got through to the right one. He interrupted the meeting he was chairing to say yes. (I have never dared ask if I was on a speaker phone but I definitely heard him ask the neeting to talk among themselves for a minute.) That was 30 years ago. You can definitely put your telephone number in the card.

bonfireheart · 24/12/2021 22:45

I don't think if a man did this it would be creepy...it's a number on a card, no pressure, no stalking - and because of this I would hand him the card rather than post through his door, cos that's the bit that takes it slightly over.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 24/12/2021 22:46

If you aren't sure he's single I wouldn't do it.

Otherwise some poor woman will be on here tomorrow saying:

"A Christmas card showed up addressed to DH basically asking him out on a date, with a phone number included. He says he hasn't flirted with anyone etc but AIBU to think a someone wouldn't just send a card to someone they've nodded to on a dog walk or had a completely innocent chat with? Surely there must have been some flirting and chemistry for her to send it."

And there will be a fight in the comments with a chorus of people saying LTB and calling anyone a 'cool girl' if they disagree and say DH can talk to anyone he likes and she's being insecure...

GentlemanJayFab · 24/12/2021 22:49

A friend of mine a had a Christmas bottle of champagne delivered the other day to her house by an old flame. It's sparked her now live in partner to question if she's having an affair or not.

She asked me to ring her to create a cover story. Bit of a messy situation.

grace1991 · 24/12/2021 22:50

Do it!!!

Original poster
Eleanoroliphantisnotfine · 24/12/2021 22:50

Oooh, mixed responses!

I didn’t do it in the end. Like PP have said, I’m not 100% sure he is single and I’d hate to cause any upset.

Figure I will still see him around and will try and suss him out in our chats.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 24/12/2021 22:52

@GentlemanJayFab

A friend of mine a had a Christmas bottle of champagne delivered the other day to her house by an old flame. It's sparked her now live in partner to question if she's having an affair or not.

She asked me to ring her to create a cover story. Bit of a messy situation.

Asking you to lie and telling her DH something untrue is hardly the best way for her to tackle that!!
Viviennemary · 24/12/2021 22:54

I absolutely would not do this. Try and do some detective work to see if he lives alone. Even if he is single a Christmas card through his door is a bit stalkerish at this stage.

FabulousMrFifty · 24/12/2021 22:54

Equality doesn’t have to include the less savoury elements of our current societal set up ya know!

Surely this is end point of equality, everyone gets the chance to enjoy the shit stuff

Faretheewellmyfairyfay · 24/12/2021 23:09

Seems all right to me.

You could write a caveat in there along the lines of "sorry if I have misunderstood and you're not single, and no worries at all if you don't fancy it, say no more".

Ariela · 25/12/2021 00:12

You could pop a note through as you pass on Christmas Day saying:

Boxing Day Walk, starting 12.00 at (pub name with glorious countryside walks, not too far away), let me know if you're coming /need a lift.
Eleanor Oliphant (number)

Or if you wanted to be even more cautious (in case of hidden wife/girlfriend) see if you can find any organised walks locally (where it won't be just you) and pop a note through.

Our village and a few adjacent ones all do Boxing Day Walks, usually starting or finishing at the pub or the village hall for mince pies

DontBlameMe79 · 25/12/2021 04:23

@youvegottenminuteslynn

If you aren't sure he's single I wouldn't do it.

Otherwise some poor woman will be on here tomorrow saying:

"A Christmas card showed up addressed to DH basically asking him out on a date, with a phone number included. He says he hasn't flirted with anyone etc but AIBU to think a someone wouldn't just send a card to someone they've nodded to on a dog walk or had a completely innocent chat with? Surely there must have been some flirting and chemistry for her to send it."

And there will be a fight in the comments with a chorus of people saying LTB and calling anyone a 'cool girl' if they disagree and say DH can talk to anyone he likes and she's being insecure...

Spot on. Definitely not until sure he’s single.
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