Nervous and uncomfortable around extended family

[christma]

I'm in my 20s, and avoid seeing most of my extended family as much as possible, as awful as that sounds. I get really nervous around them, especially my grandparents. They don't really know me, or understand me.

When I visit them I feel like I'm preparing for a job interview, trying to figure out what aspect of my life they will hound me about. They are very cold and disproving and I find it really hurtful.

My siblings can just brush it off, but I find it really hurtful.

I feel really awful and guilty for feeling like this, especially as my grandparents are getting older.

I'm dreading the Christmas gatherings and just needed a place to say that.

Don’t go to see them then
It’s your choice who you see

If you don’t like them avoid them. Don’t feel guilty, if they aren’t nice to you why should you?

Since you are seeing them this time, prepare some armour in advance - imagine yourself as a confident person, who isn’t interested in the opinions of others. Be vaguely polite, look bemused if they criticise you, find then boring and wander off / or just say, oh I think it’s a generational thing / and wander off. Just bounce everything back at then,