Just a silly thing..Dp been very difficult after severe illness, depressed, self centred etc. It’s getting a lot better but I feel like I’m nagging him all the time.
He won’t make his bed, so sleeps on bare mattress, always has his bottom crack showing, I mean yuk. I have asked him because of teenage dd. And he does the big eyed wounded look. His friend mentioned it jokily and I agreed with friend equally jokily and Dp made a joke raised fist grumbly sort of motion. It was obv a joke, but Frind called him up on it, so Dp made the same jokey motion to friend who said something like, ‘oh it’s ok now you’ve established it’s a joke by doing the same to me’.
Talks over people and doesn’t realise, he will cut you off mid sentence or totally change the subject. I don’t think he’s thinking but it had a suprsisingly negative effect on my confidence - I began to feel nothing a I said was worth listening to. He does it to kids. Also when ds is actually joining in and being funny, Dp will cut him off by saying, time to get a shower, tidy room ‘ or just,‘don’t do that’
The latest was over breakfast when he asks dd why she’s only got x left in her bank ( she’s 16) it’s like being interrogated by Victorian dad. He just did the same re her broken bank card and told her to bring it, he’d sort it. I said shouldn’t she learn to do it it will give her confidence? And then of course hes all’ where’s the number, who do I phone?’ So not much help there then. Last night we were having a lovely chat with the kids and he said to me to shut up, just as part of a sentence but I said,’ ok, but I don’t like that I feel it’s disrespectful’ in front of the kids, but what do I do? Let it go and then what do the kids learn? And I hate being told to shut up by anyone.
I feel like I should defend the kids but I feel like I’m nagging and of course he gets cross and tells me I should support him. I say, I would but I don’t always agree with what you are saying. Maybe we could discuss it first.
Also wierd, I wasn’t to write names on the gifts or kids would think they were all from me whaa?
Sorry, I feel like I’m policing him which is exhausting. I don’t want to cause bad vibes which obviously he gets pissed off if I say anything. If I mention it later he will go full on attack and not listen and somehow I’m much worse at whatever. He is keen to have a nice Christmas and is very tired form new job after redundancy.
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or more importantly how to resolve.
I’m just a bit jealous I guess of people who have a really good laugh and fun. Feels like we never do.
Sorry! I know there is worse things to worry about!