Had a lot of issues with partner without boring you with all the details I will try to be brief, we are currently in counselling, have a 1 year old, I have PND, he didn't want me for a while sexually pre baby due to depression he closed off I think my defence mechanism kicked in and my barriers have gone up and I'm cold now he will try to cuddle and kiss me and I'm just not responding I just don't know what is wrong with me I can't snap out of it, he has since got sec drive back and I asked him about him wanking and I just felt so hurt he wanted over porn after everything ( there is more to the porn issue a couple of years ago he was off the sex with me but would watch pretty hardcore porn and this destroyed my self confidence like he didn't want me but porn was ok that really hurt) he pushed me away so much and now it seems I'm doing the same I really don't know how to love passed everything and snap out of all of this, I'm not looking forward to Christmas or anything - what can I do here please help :( he says I keep bringing up the past and we can't move on if I do that and yes I do but I can't just be ok with him now just because he's feeling better !