Struggling with being gaslit

[PurpleThursdays]

Hi,

I split up with my ex partner a few years ago due to his temper and abusive ways. I know it was an abusive relationship and got out as the kids were getting older and seeing/hearing more of what was going on.

The thing is I'm still being gaslit by my ex to this day. He spins everything around so it's my fault. Even being a single parent is my fault. He attacks me over everything, anything to do with the kids, maintenance, you name it.

I'm struggling with it all lately. Are there any coping mechanisms for dealing with people like this? I have to deal with him for the sake of the kids but I don't really want to. In the past weeks he has created 3 arguments with me and does the whole DARVO thing. My head feels mashed. My parents think he is wonderful cos they dont see this side of him so it doesn't help that I've fallen out with them recently over it all. Any advice would be appreciated.

Hi Purple. Have a look at the advice on this thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4432945-My-ex-and-boundaries

He can't gaslight you if you stop communicating with him.
And you CAN stop communicating with him.

Co-parenting software is your new best friend.
No communication, no arguments, no engagement whatsoever - unless it is on the software, to make arrangements for the DC.

You have to drop your end of the rope.
Then, when he pulls on his ... he gets nothing. Because you are not there.

Thank you Charging, I will take a look. And that bit about dropping my end of the rope. That's exactly the kind of advice I need along with the practical stuff.
Thank you.