I'm in mid-40s I've been single for a few year following the ending of a LTR in which I wasn't happy.
I've had my therapy and sorted my life out, got a new job, joined a gym, moved house etc. I'm attractive and solvent etc, I feel I am the best version of me I can naturally be (I'm not interested in Botox or fillers etc - just not for me/my style - I don't judge others who do though) and I have a reasonably rich and happy, healthy life.
Due to my age I haven't the pressure/expectation of having a family (thank god as I would find it even more heart-breaking).
I'm on the dating apps, and every now and then (every couple of months I'd say) I find someone who can actually message in a interesting and interested way, we meet, usually there's no spark, we message to agree there's nothing there and nice to meet etc etc and the cycle continues.
I've recently been chatting to someone nice, he's charming and witty, we meet up, I find him attractive and interesting. We have a couple more dates, and kiss etc. There seems to be sexual chemistry. There don't seem to be any barriers to us continuing to get to know each other.
Boom I get a message saying I'm very nice but they aren't interested in seeing me again.
I feel disproportionately stupidly hurt and upset, I feel so lonely at this time of year (yes I have a dog!) everyone I know has a family, I have a lovely sister and she has a family who I stay with during Christmas, which is great, but I still feel lonely.
I know it's so random, and I know there's nothing I can do (I feel I am doing everything I can - apart from join in male hobbies, I'm never going to be a rock climber!) but I feel so despondent that I'm not in a loving and mutually beneficial relationship. I hate the idea that the mistakes I've made in the past, staying in the LTR when I shouldn't have, will mean I am possibly going to be alone forever. It's a bitter pill to swallow at this time of year.
I don't know why I'm posting, just wanted to see if anyone had any advice.
Thanks