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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What would you think about this?

30 replies

slightlyworrisom · 22/12/2021 17:26

A couple been married 30 years and always lived in the same village. The couple always looked like bosom buddies when out. Out of the blue the woman moves out and the man looks upset whenever you happen to see him. What would you think had happened?

OP posts:

cheeseislife8 · 22/12/2021 17:27

I'd think its less likely to have been out of the blue for them. Appearing fine when out doesn't necessarily mean they were happy

Original poster

slightlyworrisom · 22/12/2021 17:44

If they'd been unhappy for a while, why would the man look distressed?

OP posts:

S0upertrooper · 22/12/2021 18:14

She's been unhappy for years, maybe she tried to forgive him being unfaithful years ago. She didn't leave or kick him out then because there was no Mumsnet to tell her to LTB, the kids were small, money was tight and despite him being an arsehole, part of her still loved part of him.

She's now menopausal, has discovered her inner rage and doesn't take any shit. The thought of spending 30 more years with the cheating wanker turns her stomach and after washing his dirty coffee cup for the 6th time that day, she finally flipped, packed a case and did a Shirley Valentine. She's lying on a beach on a Greek island and is the happiest she's been in 30 years.

Maybe I'm projecting?

Original poster

slightlyworrisom · 22/12/2021 18:32

@S0upertrooper I love that story! Out of interest, is that your personal experience or just your fantasy?

OP posts:

Billyliarohdear · 22/12/2021 18:39

She's ran off with another man.

Palavah · 22/12/2021 18:45

There are hundreds of possible variations on the theme but the short answer is that you can be sad about the end of a long relationship even if it wasn't jubilantly happy - see all of the threads on here from women who are strugggling to get over ending relationships with useless cocklodgers

Dontbeme · 22/12/2021 18:53

@slightlyworrisom

If they'd been unhappy for a while, why would the man look distressed?

Because he has suddenly realised that his house elf is no longer going to be around to replace toilet roll, wash his pants or parent him? To him it was "out of the blue" but for her she realised that holding on to her marriage hurts more than letting go and leaving.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 22/12/2021 19:03

I would think she woke up one morning and decided she doesn't want to be a skivvy any more, that her husband is as boring as hell and if she has to look at his orgasm face once more she'l kill herself.

Pinkbonbon · 22/12/2021 19:17

I'd think I'd run out of things to watch on netflix and developed a case of noseybastarditis.

Twickerhun · 22/12/2021 19:22

Is she alive? Does he have a new patio?

AutumnWinterSpring · 22/12/2021 19:22

Do you like the husband?

OogieBoogiePoinsettiaPlant · 22/12/2021 19:22

Are you the woman who left, OP, and worried what the village and your neighbours will be thinking?

Pinkbonbon · 22/12/2021 19:23

@Twickerhun

Is she alive? Does he have a new patio?

Haha, I was also thinking 'under the patio'.

Onthedunes · 23/12/2021 01:28

She's found out he's been having an affair for years so she's left.

He's worried the ow's husband is coming after him as his wife may spill the beans.

Are you worried op
Are you the ow ?

GrandmasCat · 23/12/2021 01:30

@slightlyworrisom

If they'd been unhappy for a while, why would the man look distressed?

Is she buried in the garden?

GrandmasCat · 23/12/2021 01:33

She may have left suddenly because her charming husband was actually an abusive narcissist.

He may look distressed because she never believed she could actually leave him.

S0upertrooper · 23/12/2021 12:50

@slightlyworrisom I'm not on the beach yet but I am getting my ducks in a row

SunshineCake1 · 23/12/2021 12:53

I'd be thinking when did I get to be such a nosey unfeeling neighbour.

My neighbour had an affair and left her husband. He looked awful for quite a long time. What with loving her and being heartbroken. He's now happily remarried with a toddler and dog.

Original poster

slightlyworrisom · 23/12/2021 13:39

@OogieBoogiePoinsettiaPlant

Are you the woman who left, OP, and worried what the village and your neighbours will be thinking?

Yes I am and getting a little suspicious about what people have been told because the external evidence - me leaving, him upset - looks as though I was the one who caused this.

OP posts:

NotAnotherPushyMum · 23/12/2021 13:58

@slightlyworrisom

If they'd been unhappy for a while, why would the man look distressed?

My marriage is on its last legs but I’ll still be devastated when it actually ends, and I imagine DH will be too. Just because you’re unhappy doesn’t mean it isn’t sad.

However I won’t be giving a second thought to what other people think has gone on, or who was to blame.

S0upertrooper · 23/12/2021 21:48

@slightlyworrisom think about yourself and try not to give anyone else a second thought. So many women will be/will have been in your situation and just because they are still married doesn't mean they're still happy.

Well done for taking that huge leap of faith. All the best for the future!

KissedintheDark · 23/12/2021 21:54

@Pinkbonbon

I'd think I'd run out of things to watch on netflix and developed a case of noseybastarditis.

DixieSun · 23/12/2021 22:18

Why did you leave?

inheritancetrack · 23/12/2021 22:31

Marking place

Calamitydrayne · 23/12/2021 22:59

@slightlyworrisom

If they'd been unhappy for a while, why would the man look distressed?

Why is it any of your business?

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