Rejecting phone calls whilst I am there

[Wilson532]

This happens a lot, when I ask who keeps calling he just says oh it's spam and I don't want to take it. I said well pass it to me I will take it then block them. It just makes me so suspicious as clearly he doesn't want to talk to whoever it is in front of me for whatever reason.

I think you already know the answer to this OP.

It literally could just be spam, I don't answer to anyone hardly. I cant be arsed, nothing for my partner to be suspicious about.

I get about 3 spam calls a day.

You sound controlling

It could but it happens a lot at least a few times a week, I hardly ever get anything like that.

My OH gets loads of spam calls. He often answers them and plays total jokes with them 🤦🏼‍♀️. Then blocks them. It could genuinely be spam. Can't he block them himself though? Why do you need to do it for him?

I suggested it because he just rejects the calls and I think they'll keep calling and it's a way to stop the calls (if he wanted to)
I don't need to do it for him it's just he doesn't block them..

I go through phases of getting multiple spam calls a day several times a week. It's a pain in the arse. I've blocked a lot of the numbers now so it's fewer, but some still get through. My fault for signing up to too many competitions a few years ago when I was tight on cash. My data being sold is so annoying several years down the line. Could be totally innocent OP.

I get spam calls at least twice a week. I don’t bother blocking anymore as they just call on a different number. Sounds like there’s no trust so I’d break it off now.

Spam, not spam, if I'm with someone in person and engaging with them I won't answer my phone unless I'm especially expecting someone to call.

Who is he?

New date? New boyfriend? Established boyfriend? Cohabiting DP/DH?

Because that makes quite a difference - both to whom he might not want to get into conversation with in front of you, and willingness to hand over phone.

If he’s got his number listed for work, on his website or LinkedIn, then he’s likely to get hit by spam calls way more often than someone with a less publicised number. The spammers hoover those right up.

Annoyingly, (and off the point, sorry) I’ve found LinkedIn is way spammier than it used to be for emails too. Loads more direct mails and emails coming from lists obviously sold on by them.

Rejecting calls more often - not suspicious in itself. Being more generally “careful” about giving you his phone - possibly more worrying, but he might just like his privacy.

Co habiting partner of 3 years

Wouldn't you be more pissed off if he kept answering calls whilst he was with you?

I think you're making an issue out of nothing here tbh - unless there's other things which are making you distrust him?

I get multiple spam calls a day, I block them but they just ring with a slightly varied number. If you've ever used a comparison site or your details have been hacked from a website you'll get them. Always a land line number though I've never had one from a mobile

Has there been any other suspicious behaviour? Is he hiding his phone from you?

Hi op, I get lots weekly, usually from women in the Philliplines from Beneficial and another one I think its advantage calling from different numbers that come up as basingstoke and liverpool. They say they have a few lifestyle questions and I am.not obligated to answer. It's beengoing on 3 years now and they hang up the phone on me when I give them ridiculous answers to their questions like my name has been changed by deed poll from typical British sounding name, like Anna smith to Scooby doo etc and they say since you're not being serious, we will end the call. Then they ring back an hour later or sometimes they call and stay silent to hear my voice to maybe determine what kind if mood I am in to talk to me lol.... I also get people from india ringing me for life insurance or something. I then had a call last year from a guy who said he was calling from Barclays fraud detection department. It came up as well on the phone as barclays, he said his name was Daniel or something and that my card had been used for over a £1000 in John Lewis and then at a teeth whitening company. I said what, really because I don't even have that much money in my account ans I also have zero overdraft limit too. He was rambling on that he can cancel the card immediately, and that all he would need is the last 3 digits in the back of the card. As soon as I knew he said that, I knew something was fishy. My husband was listening to everything on loud speaker and as soon as he said Hello, they hung up. I called barclays and they confirmed that it was not them and obviously would never ask anyone for last 3 digits etc. What's really awful is that the number comes up as barclays, so someone might fall for the scam. I also checked Barclays online banking whilst I was on the phone to him to say my card has not been used and he was telling me a load of waffle.
I actually came on here after to share a thread about it and actually was amazed at the people calling me names and stupid and foolish and that I was going to have my arse handed to me, for saying maybe a naive elderly person might fall victkm to the scam. I was then called names and told I am totally thick it was obviously a scam. I even used the term hubby and hunk for my husband and people were calling me names for that too.
I dont know what was worse, being called names on mumsnet by strangers or the scam call. I actually had to ask mumsnet to take the thread down.

Unfortunately, scams are everywhere, just keep blocking the number.

Well, your DP needs to block the number anyway.

@Wilson532

It could but it happens a lot at least a few times a week, I hardly ever get anything like that.

So because you don't get them they don't happen?

I get them at least once a day on my mobile. There was a time I was getting 2 or 3 a day so a few times a week is not a concern. I can tell the number is them but its always slightly different so blocking is pointless. I also reject calls often even if I know the person because I'm in the middle of something, it's too late in the evening, I don't want to talk, insert other reason here....

I don't need to do it for him it's just he doesn't block them.

I block them each time. Doesn't stop them. So what's the point blocking? I do it anyway in case but it really doesn't make a difference.

Annoyingly, (and off the point, sorry) I’ve found LinkedIn is way spammier than it used to be for emails too. Loads more direct mails and emails coming from lists obviously sold on by them. I had a message on linkedin the other day initiating contact and when I looked at the profile it was someone in a fairly high profile company so I replied. And at that point he said: “you have such a pretty smile, are you single?” I thought the creeps tended to stick to fb/twittter but it would seem not.

TBH re rejecting calls I think it depends. Does he say anything when he rejects the call? Or does he just reject it? If I get calls from spam numbers I often just say “ah, spam from somewhere as far as I can tell, and I either answer it or I don’t. But I do think that always rejecting calls is potentially a bit suspicious. What’s his behaviour like otherwise? Does he text a lot? On his phone a lot? Keeps his phone with him at all times?

I might be inclined to test his spam claims by withholding your number and calling him when you’re not together, and seeing whether he answers it or not.

Maybe he just has manners and won't answer his phone whilst he is in company.

Is this a recent thing?

I get spam calls sometimes, not multiple times a week though, and usually I just ignore them when I'm with DP. BUT, I will usually say to him i'm not answering that its a sales/spam call or something and he likely could clearly see the number on the screen anyway.

So the key here, is he secretive about it? Does he reject it very quickly?

Only reason I say that is because when I get them it takes me a second or 2 after seeing the number to think, who is that? and then think, well I don't know anyone from liverpool, so then I reject it. Spam calls rarely come in from the same number. Rejection isn't instant, proabably a few seconds whilst my brain works out if I recognise the number or not.
If hes seeing it and instantly rejecting it, it would suggest he knows the number straight away and doesn't want to take the call.
Does that make sense?

Can you check the calls list on his phone to see if they are spam numbers?

If its suddenly started out of the blue, I'd be getting a bit suspicious. But it really depends on lots of factors. Does he use the phone for work? recently signed up to stuff that may have shared his number etc etc

My DP for example, literally never gives his number out and doesn't use it for work. he gets zero spam calls. If he started doing this multiple times, i'd definitely think something was up.

I don't answer calls when I'm with someone else unless it's potentially very urgent like from my parents or one of my dc (as they would never usually phone). Otherwise I would consider answering a call whilst with someone else as a bit rude.

OP, the odd part is if he doesn't let you see his phone.
@PopsicleHustler thank you for sharing that, I might indeed have fallen for that scam in an off guard moment, given what you said about the name Barclays coming up on your phone.

Also check if his number has ever been involved in a breach.

www.haveibeenpwned.com

if his number hasn''t, its unlikely he is getting so many spam calls in a week.
if it has or been in multiple breaches, then it could be spam.

Could he be in debt? Missed payments usually triggers recurring calls sometimes several times an hour or several calls from different numbers repeatedly. Or old debt being sold to new debt collectors starts all the calls again for a few weeks.