I divorced exh a long time ago and am now happy in a new relationship, dc are happy, work is going well etc. All good.
Except, I'm only just starting to reflect on what I went through with my ex and his nastiness. I'm full of regret that I married him. I wish my dc had a better dad, even though he has transformed into a semi-father of the year since we split.
He was emotionally abusive for years. I called Women's Aid often. He made me feel like worthless crap for years and it's only now that life is good that I'm starting to process just how awful things were.
And yet, he was never physically violent (although he broke things in anger a couple of times).
Is it normal to feel anxious and upset about stuff which happened years ago and I'm now free from? No one in real life understands how bad it was because 'ah well, sounds shit but at least he never hit you'. He is still a knob day to day over petty things which I assume is him trying to cling on to a little bit of control.