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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Single at 28

22 replies

justagirlinabar · 21/12/2021 11:51

Hi,

I am a 28 y/o (f) who is recently single. Until recently, I have always been focused on my career, which is a mess but nevermind.

I want to have a family and kids. This breakup has made me doubt that it will ever happen now. I feel like I am getting too old. Everyday, my peers are getting engaged, married and having kids.

Is it too late?

OP posts:

Prinnny · 21/12/2021 11:55

Definitely not! I have friends that have met partners in their 30s, some set up on blind dates, some online dating, some chance encounters! There’s lots of opportunities for love but you’ve got to put yourself out there! I have another friend who’s recently pregnant after a fling, she’s over the moon about the baby as it’s all she’s ever wanted (not so bothered about the man), don’t write yourself off yet!

Kbish1 · 21/12/2021 11:58

Its definitely not too late. Dbro and his wife met in their early 30s. Now early 40s. Married with 2 kids and very happy.

You are far to young to be thinking that it's too late

almostforgotitwastwilight · 21/12/2021 12:04

Not at all! I was newly single just after Christmas at almost 28. Now married with 1yo DD at nearly 33. Don't put pressure on yourself over a timeline of when things 'should' happen 🧡

interest12 · 21/12/2021 13:00

Oh shut up

mindutopia · 21/12/2021 13:39

I only met dh when I was 28. Plenty of time! We got married when I was 31, first child at 32, second at 37, etc.

Actually nearly all of my friends who met and married in their early to mid 20s are now divorced as they just outgrew each other.

ShatnersWig · 21/12/2021 20:04

28? God above. You've got at least a decade!

Bethany7 · 21/12/2021 20:07

Totally not too late at all!

Marlena1 · 21/12/2021 20:31

I didn't meet DP until I was almost 34 and have 2 DDs. You have plenty time. I know on MN people have kids v young but among peers I'm fairly average.

Shebangshebong · 22/12/2021 00:03

Stop being so dramatic. I say this as someone the same age and single!

Pinkbonbon · 22/12/2021 00:12

Seriously? Come on now, give yourself a shake.

You might find love at 29, 45, 71. Any age. Probably multiple ages tbf.
And you probably have at least 15 more years in which you can have children physically.

And that's not counting that you might become a step parent at some point in your life. Or you might foster or adopt.

Your peers that are engaged and married now, half will be divorced in a decade. Relationships come and go. They are not an ending or a happily ever after.

Continue to pay attention to your career. Being self sufficient will serve you better than any man ever could.

user1481840227 · 22/12/2021 00:14

Everyday, my peers are getting engaged, married and having kids

Statistically some of those will get divorced and meet someone new and get married again or have more kids etc.

You have lots of time!

ellenpartridge · 22/12/2021 00:21

I met my DH at 28 or 29, married at 30, had 2 kids, all great. You're not too old!

OooohAhhhh · 22/12/2021 00:26

No, I'd enjoy it while it lasts tbh.
I met my fiancé when I was 32. Had first baby at 36.
So there is plenty of time for all that. Enjoy your freedom!

TheRigatonini · 22/12/2021 00:34

Continue to pay attention to your career. Being self sufficient will serve you better than any man ever could.

Yup and I’d add to this your social life / network and friends. You’ll be glad of them when you’re stuck with a dude and kids. 😂

Seriously though, I’m sure the worry on your part is genuine and remember going through something similar at the same age – a sort of dawning that there were no guarantees that I’d get everything I wanted in life.

Then I came to an acceptance of that and got on with it, with less fear and panic.

I did meet someone at 33/34 and decided I didn’t want the kids after all. I have other friends who met their partners mid - late 30s and are having babies now and in 40s.

Anyway, 28 is very young and there is definitely plenty of time to meet someone else and settle down with kids, if that’s what you want. Keep building and living your life, and focus on meeting and connecting with people in general rather than just dating. So you’ll pick up friends and memories on the way as well. That’s my advice!

MeSanniesareBrannies · 22/12/2021 00:35

Is 28 ‘too late’ for what, exactly? In what possible context would that be too late for anything other than puberty?

Keepitonthedownlow · 22/12/2021 06:09

You are in the ideal position to find a partner and have kids. Just maximise your opportunities for meeting someone and have a clear picture of what you are looking for - personally I'd prioritise someone caring, responsible and who actually wants to become a parent. That way you won't be wasting your time.

Didimum · 22/12/2021 08:17

I found myself single at 28 after a 6yr relationship. While I had the same worries, honestly it was a fabulous age to be single in hindsight and I had a very enjoyable year. It was also the year I met my husband who I would marry and 31 and then went on to have two kids.

grapewine · 22/12/2021 08:20

Come on. 28 isn't too late for anything. Focus on your career. It'll be a good bet.

Littlescottiedog · 22/12/2021 08:22

Honestly, 28 feels like you're old and you've missed the boat, but really, you'll most likely be just fine. I was single from 25-27 and felt like it was the worst thing ever - just like you I thought I was old, everyone else was getting married, that I'd never find anyone. But I met someone at 27, I'm now 40, married, kids.

Don't give up! Chances are you'll meet someone in the next year or two.

BeyondOurReef · 22/12/2021 08:23

@justagirlinabar

Hi,

I am a 28 y/o (f) who is recently single. Until recently, I have always been focused on my career, which is a mess but nevermind.

I want to have a family and kids. This breakup has made me doubt that it will ever happen now. I feel like I am getting too old. Everyday, my peers are getting engaged, married and having kids.

Is it too late?

You’re 28. There’s loads of time.

Concentrate on yourself and your career. Take the time to find someone great for you who’ll be a good husband and father. There’s no rush at all.

Hirewiredays · 22/12/2021 10:41

35 marriage and kids at 36, 37, 40!

ColourMeExhausted · 22/12/2021 11:52

Of course not!! I was 28 when I split up with my boyfriend. I too thought it would to be too late. Went on to have a 3 year relationship, then met DH at 32, married at 35, DCs at 35 and 38. And plenty of fun in between! You're a baby at 28 and most of my friends who were in relationships at that age are in different ones now.

Just some advice based on my experiences. Don't settle, my relationship with my ex wasn't great and a big part of it was me worrying about turning 30, needing to settle down so I could have kids...once I finished it life was so much better and I was able to meet DH. I put up with a lot of shit though because I was scared to be ob my own, and turned down some amazing opportunities. If I was you I'd spend the next couple of years having fun and enjoying your youth! Easier said than done though...

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