Hi all, coming on here for a think and a vent, want to put it out there, to talk about it with others. I've been feeling increasingly frustrated with my husband and since going back to work after having our two children, I'm feeling more and more independent and I could manage better without him. Both of us have completely given up making any effort for one another, but as soon as we have any sort of argument and I put it out there that maybe we should just get divorced because then we can live in our own houses, he can keep his house as tidy as he likes (he constantly complains about how messy me and the kids are), he can discipline the kids how he sees fit (he constantly complains that I am too soft on the kids) and he can go to bed and sleep all night in peace (he constantly complains about the kids waking him when they come through for a cuddle or have wet the bed or whatever else it is that young kids do during the night, you know what it's like).
As soon as I mention divorce he either says things like "why do you keep joking about that, it's not funny" and then makes more of an effort to give me a cuddle or hang the laundry up or whatever. I know he does this because he knows will be absolutely shit on his own. His Mum used to sort out stuff like his car insurance etc until I came on the scene. I've insisted over the years that he at least takes responsibility for paying some of the bills but coaxing him how to figure out how to do every adult task has become very tiring. I do all the maintenance in the house, all the household accounts, I sorted our our house purchase and the mortgage myself, I sort out all the issues with the cars, all the tax, drainage problems, insurance jobs, all the kids' nursery and school and healthcare stuff, I do all the food shopping and most of the cooking, I do all the random stuff like fix the window blind when he breaks it just trying to open the window, because he is just really stupid at a lot of things.
He basically works hard at his career, takes the bins out regularly, loads the dishwasher, tidies up a lot, puts the car through the carwash sometimes and commends himself on doing more than most husbands 
We don't ever have sex anymore, we used to do it like once a month and make a joke about "at least that's done for another month now" but now I am so offended by this that I don't even instigate that, or encourage him to. Basically i've realised I made all the effort with everything, probably because I wanted kids, now I have kids and my hormones are shot, I've realised if I don't make the effort then it doesn't happen, so fuck it, I can't be arsed anymore.
Now that I am working and I have a job I love and am bringing in a reasonable amount of money, I just feel like, what do I actually need him around for? All he does is cause me stress, escalating things when the kids act up and moaning about the mess of the house and all the work the house needs done. I'm the one that sorts it all out so maybe I should end things and ask him to leave? Financially i reckon it's tight but viable, I have a flat that I rent out (in a different town, that I owned before I met him) that I am planning to sell, so i reckon this would generate a couple of £10ks to partially buy him out of our family home (he put more of the the deposit down on the family home, and the mortgage is in joint names) so me and the kids could stay here, and he could have enough for a deposit on another flat for himself.
Am I just being a bitch? Am I just letting all the niggly things about living with another human being get to me? I am the child of a very messy divorce, so I am conscious of the awful effect divorce has on kids, and I am also conscious that perhaps I am just repeating my mother's behaviour (hit our 40's and think, "fuck this")
Mumsnet - please debate! x