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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure if I want to end my marriage

14 replies

justwantmyownbed · 19/12/2021 22:11

Hi all, coming on here for a think and a vent, want to put it out there, to talk about it with others. I've been feeling increasingly frustrated with my husband and since going back to work after having our two children, I'm feeling more and more independent and I could manage better without him. Both of us have completely given up making any effort for one another, but as soon as we have any sort of argument and I put it out there that maybe we should just get divorced because then we can live in our own houses, he can keep his house as tidy as he likes (he constantly complains about how messy me and the kids are), he can discipline the kids how he sees fit (he constantly complains that I am too soft on the kids) and he can go to bed and sleep all night in peace (he constantly complains about the kids waking him when they come through for a cuddle or have wet the bed or whatever else it is that young kids do during the night, you know what it's like).

As soon as I mention divorce he either says things like "why do you keep joking about that, it's not funny" and then makes more of an effort to give me a cuddle or hang the laundry up or whatever. I know he does this because he knows will be absolutely shit on his own. His Mum used to sort out stuff like his car insurance etc until I came on the scene. I've insisted over the years that he at least takes responsibility for paying some of the bills but coaxing him how to figure out how to do every adult task has become very tiring. I do all the maintenance in the house, all the household accounts, I sorted our our house purchase and the mortgage myself, I sort out all the issues with the cars, all the tax, drainage problems, insurance jobs, all the kids' nursery and school and healthcare stuff, I do all the food shopping and most of the cooking, I do all the random stuff like fix the window blind when he breaks it just trying to open the window, because he is just really stupid at a lot of things.

He basically works hard at his career, takes the bins out regularly, loads the dishwasher, tidies up a lot, puts the car through the carwash sometimes and commends himself on doing more than most husbands Hmm

We don't ever have sex anymore, we used to do it like once a month and make a joke about "at least that's done for another month now" but now I am so offended by this that I don't even instigate that, or encourage him to. Basically i've realised I made all the effort with everything, probably because I wanted kids, now I have kids and my hormones are shot, I've realised if I don't make the effort then it doesn't happen, so fuck it, I can't be arsed anymore.

Now that I am working and I have a job I love and am bringing in a reasonable amount of money, I just feel like, what do I actually need him around for? All he does is cause me stress, escalating things when the kids act up and moaning about the mess of the house and all the work the house needs done. I'm the one that sorts it all out so maybe I should end things and ask him to leave? Financially i reckon it's tight but viable, I have a flat that I rent out (in a different town, that I owned before I met him) that I am planning to sell, so i reckon this would generate a couple of £10ks to partially buy him out of our family home (he put more of the the deposit down on the family home, and the mortgage is in joint names) so me and the kids could stay here, and he could have enough for a deposit on another flat for himself.

Am I just being a bitch? Am I just letting all the niggly things about living with another human being get to me? I am the child of a very messy divorce, so I am conscious of the awful effect divorce has on kids, and I am also conscious that perhaps I am just repeating my mother's behaviour (hit our 40's and think, "fuck this")

Mumsnet - please debate! x

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 19/12/2021 22:22

You’re not happy OP and the question is, is that likely to change anytime soon? I’m the product of parents who argued non stop but stayed together for the kids, only it wasn’t for us as it would have been preferable for us if they had split. Follow your heart, and your heart is saying to leave and you’d be happier on your own. Best of luck

mailpal · 19/12/2021 22:31

Do you love him? Do you imagine life without him often? Covid has caused many relationship problems..

Do you ever have quality time to reconnect?

LittleBabyCheeses · 19/12/2021 22:33

No debate to be had really, you don’t love him so best for you both if you split and have another shot at happiness.

Silverchamber · 19/12/2021 22:54

Sounds like you've hit the point of no return and you resent him hugely. You sound like me 2 years ago. Every little thing he did just gave me pure rage and it wasn't a good environment for anyone. I too had to do all the thinking for another adult as well as myself and 2 kids and no matter how many times I begged him to take some of the mental load, the cycle continued.

Your kids will be happier with separated happy parents than one toxic unit.

YRGAM · 19/12/2021 23:04

I think before you make any irreversible decisions you should tell him everything you've told us, without holding anything back. It doesn't sound like you've properly, honestly communicated with each other about the state of your marriage and what can be done to improve it.

Please remember it's very easy to advise a stranger to end their marriage, so you will see a lot of it here.

justwantmyownbed · 19/12/2021 23:15

@Darbs76 aw i am sorry you went through this. I hear this so often from people.

@mailpal - do I love him? Sort of. I still care about him, and his family, a lot. But my feelings for him have changed so much since being pregnant and having kids. I feel like I had to grow up and change for the better (well you have to, when a tiny human inhabits your body, right?!) and he showed some selfishness and insensitivity that has really gotten to me, and now, years later I just can't shift the niggling resentments.

@Silverchamber - sorry to hear you've been through this. Assuming you have left your partner now - do you feel like you've done the right thing?

@YRGAM every time I try to communicate with him, it just sounds like I am massively criticising him, which I guess I am. He either gets annoyed at me, and heads to bed (as we generally only have time for these conversations in the late evening), or, he promises he will be "better" and "try to help more'.

(Why does men offering to "help" with the housework / childcare in their own bloody house and for their own children make me so enraged?! It's your house, therefore it's your housework, and your own children too?!!)

OP posts:
ftw163532 · 19/12/2021 23:26

Why does men offering to "help" with the housework / childcare in their own bloody house and for their own children make me so enraged?! It's your house, therefore it's your housework, and your own children too?!!

Because it is enraging. That is a healthy response to something harmful.

RandomMess · 19/12/2021 23:40

Your resentment has massively set in and I'm not sure you can get back from that.

Mumof3confused · 19/12/2021 23:44

As I was reading this, I was thinking ‘did I write this post and forget that I posted it?’ - I’m in almost the same situation but my husband is also a bit of a sex pest. I haven’t really got any advice but offering solidarity. We are having couples counselling and to be honest, it is making me very angry right now, as I am remembering all of the things that have happened in the past which I just sort of skimmed over. It’s definitely my fault as well as his that I’ve ended up becoming my husband’s mother. I don’t know how to fix it and thinking about divorce. The only thing holding me back is the impact on the children x

Holothane · 19/12/2021 23:48

I’m at this stage I’d rather be on my own in the bedroom tonight was a good night no grumpiness. So not too bad.

Twillow · 19/12/2021 23:50

Do you love him?
Can you imagine being retired with him?

Those were my two deal breakers.
But...you are not wrong about the impact on children. I believed I would be dead if I did not leave when I did, but I do wonder if it would be better for the children to have 'hung on' until they finished school.

Twillow · 19/12/2021 23:54

Post script to above - I regret the impact on the children, but I honestly think this is as much a product of the relationship as a product of separating. I have never, ever regretted leaving. I wished I had done it earlier. I very much enjoy managing my own life, problems and all, without managing another adult's moods and inadequacies or being criticised for the way I handle things.

me4real · 20/12/2021 00:08

I feel like I had to grow up and change for the better (well you have to, when a tiny human inhabits your body, right?!) and he showed some selfishness and insensitivity that has really gotten to me, and now, years later I just can't shift the niggling resentments.

What did he do at the time @justwantmyownbed ?

He sounds like a PITA all round anyway. You definitely don't need him and he brings little or no pleasure to your life. You know what you want to do. xx

me4real · 20/12/2021 00:10

As I was reading this, I was thinking ‘did I write this post and forget that I posted it?’ - I’m in almost the same situation but my husband is also a bit of a sex pest

@Mumof3confused Ugh, even worse. I'm sure your kids would be ok. You don't deserve to be sexually pestered and deserve to be free.

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