How long to recover from a heartbreak?

[Psm92]

I'm 29 - turning 30 in less than a month - and the man I was deeply in love with for a year ended things just last week quite unexpectedly, saying he had checked out of the relationship and didn't feel a romantic spark anymore. We had had some issues but I thought he was committed to working through them so it came as a huge shock. I've been heartbroken once before, but the scale of this feels far bigger as we shared a connection that was deeper.

I only really got over my previous heartbreak by meeting my next partner and falling in love again. However, I wanted to get views on whether it's possible to stop feeling so hurt/hopeful for reconciliation/dejected and low without meeting someone else. I just can't imagine that I'll ever be over him and stop caring unless something/someone better comes and long, but I realise this is probably unhealthy.

Thanks so much. Also - any success stories of finding love after 30, after a few significant heartbreaks are very welcome!

Of course it’s possible, I’ve been single for 5 years but definitely over my ex! I don’t personally like the thought of getting with someone to get over someone

Thanks for your reply :) Were you deeply in love with your ex and did he break your heart? How long did it take to stop caring?

Yes and we have children he just randomly left and broke up with me and disappeared! It did take a long time to get over it I won’t lie but harder as having the children makes it harder to get over it I think. It’s really early days for you so I would expect you to still be hurting I wouldn’t even think about meeting someone yet in your situation

Assuming you have gone properly cold turkey (ie deleted all the messages/emails and blocked his number) You can expect it to feel significantly better in 4 weeks or so. You should be over it in 6 months or so as a rule of thumb.

I would focus on routine and self care right now ( take a bath , do a gym class) get up and dressed and leave the house every day.
Also making plans with friends is a good thing to do

Heartbreak is horrible, especially this time of year, but you will get over it. 6 months is my guess. Throw yourself into other things, friends, hobbies, exercise and it will subside gradually. It is painful but better to know now that he was not on the same page than in 4 years time. You are very young and have years and years to have other relationships. Time and laughter are healers.

It took me over a year to get over my previous relationship (which lasted around 15 months). This was with no contact etc. So I'm not feeling too optimistic for 6 months :( I really really loved him

It will take as long as it takes.

Remind yourself that you were in love with who you thought he was not who he was.

Making new memories helps.

You will likely be fine in a year but as pp said, it takes along as it takes.

Don't date until you are feeling healed and just looking for some company again.