Leaving next year

[ginandbaileys]

I think it's time. I've had enough.

9 years together, two primary school aged children. He owns the house (I know the stupidity already). I work part time.

I need to pluck up the courage but not sure where to start.

In the same boat, trying to pluck up the courage - I know it needs to happen but at the same time it's so hard!

@QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat it's hard isn't it. Staying is easier but I'm so unhappy.

Do you have a plan? Any concrete steps taken?

Taking a plan one step at a time is the only answer really. That and accepting you will feel scared and uncertain as you proceed because that's a normal human reaction.

Surely there is more to life than being miserable, that's what I think but I don't want my children to be from a broken home. It's hard to break the cycle and actually make the decision to end it as you may feel responsible but it takes two to make or break a relationship!

I think it nearly time too. 18 years, two children yr 6 and 8. Afraid of the fall out and fucking them up, but if I don’t leave I’ll have to accept that I’m choosing to never be happy

I have no plan. Wouldn't even know where to start.

If I say anything he will expect me to leave immediately.

I think I would start the plan by getting as much money together as possible and liquidating any assets such as jewelry. Start looking at your accommodation options. Also declutter so you're not taking stuff you do not need or want.

I can't afford to rent and have no savings. I don't earn a lot as I'm part time term time. And what I do have gets used up so it would take me a long time to save.
I don't have anything else of value to sell.

@ginandbaileys

I have no plan. Wouldn't even know where to start.

If I say anything he will expect me to leave immediately.

There's backstory here then, I gather?

How did you envisage it playing out if you don't have a plan yet? Do you know what your goals are in terms of where you want to reach? All you do is work backwards to fill in the gaps to get there.

Where will you live?

Are you married - do you need to initiate divorce? Have you taken legal advice?

Do you have a support network?

Is this a domestic abuse situation?

Have you done a calculation on entitledto?

Have you worked out a budget?

Can you change your hours?

There's lots you can do, you're not helpless.

The Citizens Advice website has lots of useful info both on legal and practical matters.

This is me too - made up my mind that next year is the year I call time on my partner. Nearly 10 years together. He’s 22 years older than me, I work full time but term time, he owns the house and my 3 children (15,14,12) are not his. I just don’t know where to begin planning how to afford it. And how to carry on as normal until I’m ready to do something.