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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I make amends?

5 replies

countrylady2 · 19/12/2021 10:30

About 6 months ago I went for a meal with friends. I fell out with a friend as we were playing a game at the table about the year of the song that was on in the restaurant. I said casually as a joke he may have got it wrong. He got very irate and raised his voice saying I always get the years wrong. Later that night we had to pay the bill, I wanted separate bills but he refused. The restaurant was closing and he was struggling to work out the bill he gave me a dirty look as I offered help to sort the bill. He had also been ‘fault finding’ with friends throughout the night.

I called him out on his behaviour which he says I have caused him anxiety for doing this. We ‘made amends’ but did not speak for 6 months. Recently he told a mutual friend to say hi to me and he wished me Happy Birthday. I replied and asked how he was but got no reply.

Some people have known him a very long time and said he rarely contacts people and expects other to contact him which was the case I always made the effort to make contact. Others have said he has Aspergers traits. He doesn’t like criticism as he found the joke about saying he got the years wrong too much. I since found out his parents were very critical and controlling when he was a child, he seems to accept a lot of things as criticism.

When he was nice I miss having in my life and don’t know if I should take a Christmas card to his place but don’t want to rejected at Christmas or be ‘told off’ for an incident 6 months ago which he caused.

OP posts:
Momijin · 19/12/2021 12:58

Up to you but I wouldnt like to be friends I had to walk around on eggshells with and who didn't make an effort to contact me.

Covid has made me very choosy about who I want to spend my time with and there are former close friends that have become more acquaintances now and I feel so much happier now.

SandyBut · 19/12/2021 13:03

Oh he sounds like a twat. No

ChargingBuck · 19/12/2021 13:27

Maybe forget about this rude & awkward man, & concentrate more on why you feel you have anything to "make amends" for.

billy1966 · 19/12/2021 14:00

@SandyBut

Oh he sounds like a twat. No
This.

Leave it go.

He sounds awful.

countrylady2 · 19/12/2021 18:48

@ChargingBuck You are right. I should respect myself and find new kinder friends.

OP posts:
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