So there’s quite a lot of history here and I have to hold my hands up and say there’s been conflict in the past, there’s been me ranting about their father‘s behaviour which I wish I could take back but I can’t. I dont want to repeat it.
I know I’m not being unreasonable I guess I’m just sort of asking for advice on how you would handle this ?
Long and the short of it is my three younger children’s father has remarried to somebody who gave her children absolutely no support through university, no money and therefore the kids got, I think 50% of the grant about £4000 a year.
My eldest children with him has put all their financial applications in my name which meant last year they did get 50% financial support and their dads details wasn’t looked into, next year I will earn too much for them to receive a penny.
I have my eldest daughter who received a lot of financial support from her father growing up and frankly that money was put in the family pot and it contributed towards everyone’s well-being at one point it paid the mortgage when my ex was out of work. Had I been selfish and ring fenced that money for her she would have enough money to buy a house for cash and certainly wouldn’t be worried about going through university.
My second daughter is with the ex and basically beyond flicking and 20 quid here n there because the new wife didn’t support her children financially he doesn’t see why and needs to do anything for his daughter despite the fact that he literally earns double what I do and he also has a side gig that brings the man in excess of 20 grand a year cash I actually think it’s nearer £30,000.
No I’m not naive enough to think I can force him to help his own child but I don’t want to be the bad guy all the time and literally I always I am. Always.
The bottom line is if I have to find £8000 each for them to get through university next year then I will won’t I but then why does he get to stand there smiling at her graduation having contributed absolutely apple and I’ve got to admit I did say that and she was like he’s my dad he’s my dad … he does nothing for you.
I’m just so sick of the situation where he comes up smelling like roses.
The last conversation I had with her she stated you and dad will have to sort out this between you and it’s quite simply not going to happen and I don’t know how I can make her understand that this really isn’t right. I understand I have to support daughter one because nobody else is going to, he should be contributing at least 50% towards daughter two well actually should be contributing 50% towards daughter one if the truth be known but that’s never gonna happen.