Jealousy of my ex’s partners relationship with my kids

[Pixie2412]

I have been separated from my ex for a long time now. My ex has my kids every other Friday and drops them home Saturday( his choice) He hasn’t been supportive in helping to raise our kids. He doesn’t speak to them from one week to the next. I have been a single mum and have raise our kids alone.

My ex has just started a new relationship and has introduced her to my kids. I found out from my 10 year old dd. I am so jealous of his new partners relationship with my 10 year old daughter. My ex’s partner mentioned about my kids staying with them more which is driving me crazy. It wasn’t her place to say anything considering that it has never been talked about my myself and my ex. It’s so strange as I’m not jealous of my son spending time with her it’s just my youngest daughter. I have a close bond to all of my kids, so I don’t understand why it’s just my youngest daughter.

Is this normal? I’m trying to be positive about it all but it’s so hard. Any advice welcome. Thank you x

It’s because another woman is potentially trying to muscle in on girl time, acting like another mother figure to your daughter. I’d hate it if it was the same with DS but reckon my jealousy would be worse if I had a daughter for some reason. It’s your precious girl time isn’t it!

I get it. But I do think you need to try to accept that she is a potential new fixture in their lives, for the time being anyway. Jealousy never serves you or anyone else well. She can’t replace your relationship with your daughter. Just make sure you and DD are getting quality time together so you can feel more secure in your own relationship with her xx

Totally get it you don't want her to have another mother. Totally understandable but look at the positive- she's making an effort and she's encouraging your ex to make an effort. As an ex wife who's seen 3 new wives come and go (some better than others!) id try and keep the peace she won't love them more tha you but she might get a better relationship with her dad for it.

How new is the relationship?

Not sure I was told about it about a month ago. They are already talking about moving in together.

Possibly because we know boys tend to be bloody-mindedly loyal?

A boy’s mum is his mum, but maybe girls can be a little more, shall we say fickle?

I guess she is also at that age where you are thinking she might start to temporarily pull away from you, and here is another woman to step in and play ‘besties’ all of a sudden.

However, she knows you are her mum. She loves only you as her mum and you will never be replaced. A girl loves her mum just as much as a boy does.

Try to spend quality time with your children to give yourself peace of mind. You will be fine though - your children love only you for being their mum.