Dating advice - help!

[Silveryfox]

Advice/opinions please.... I'm talking to a 56 year old guy,l (I'm 48) and we've been talking for a few days but he keeps pushing to meet up sooner rather than later. Bearing in mind its xmas week, my son is 12 so cant be left alone in the evenings, which he knows, and I've said I have an appointment for my roots/colour to be done on 29th December (I've not really been looking after my appearance and have around 5 months root growth plus a lot of greys which im embarrassed about) and I'm happy to meet him after my appointment so I can feel confident about myself and my appearance bearing in mind the above.

He has 3 daughters who are 21, 19 and 16 who he has at his house every tuesday and every other weekend officially, although it sounds like they're there a lot more often than that from what he's said. He says he cant see me on the 29th because his daughters will be "with him" that evening. He says he's really keen to meet and he seems to be using the above to push me to meet earlier than what I said I could do. I start work tomorrow at 10am and he even suggested me meeting him before work tomorrow! Er no.... !! Am I being unreasonable in being a bit irritated bearing in mind his daughters ages and the fact he has a lot more flexibility with his time and freedom, to be a bit annoyed that he's pushing me to meet before the date I said I could and using his daughters as an excuse?? I mean he isnt even suggesting we go for a meal, just a couple of drinks.

He could feasibly meet me for a drink then go home and see his daughters afterwards. It's not like they need babysitters.

I'm not expecting him to drop his daughters for me, but in this situation he has more flexibility than I do with free time/childcare issues. It's annoying me actually, because I feel like he's pestering me while not listening to what I'm saying/considering my position/responsibilities

AIBU in thinking that, if he is really keen to meet, then as his daughters arent exactly children and he sees them a lot , he should respect what I've said and meet me that evening bearing in mind they dont need babysitters etc?

He's pushing/testing your boundaries early on to see if he can force you to agree to something he wants and inconvenience yourself - then this will be the way he engages with you in the future.

Not cool. Communicating and scheduling like a reasonable person is a must-have. He's not asking because he's in love with your profile and wants to "snap you up" earlier, it's because he wants to find women he can make do what he wants (meeting at 830 am the next day, or paying for a babysitter).

If you continue dating this is the conversation you'll be having every week as he asks why you can't adjust to HIM

if you really like the look of him and think it's just nerves, message and say "It's challenging isn't it lol, why don't I give you a shout after the 29th when I'm free? Look forward to meeting and happy xmas"

Then stick to it. If he comes back trying to "argue" with you, ignore or block.

He sounds pushy and not too willing to compromise, sorry :-(

Just say what you can do and then see how he reacts

You're NOT being unreasonable. I've dated men like that before; who never seem to listen to what you've said and want to pester you into meeting when it suits them. Its a big red flag. I would suggest finding someone else, don't meet him or speak to him anymore. However, if you do want to meet him then Stick to your guns and tell him the earliest date that you're available is 29th. You're busy with work and childcare. It's also a week until Christmas, Most parents of kids are busy right now. Plus with this new covid variant, its not worth risking Christmas for the sake of a date. If he still doesn't listen, then move on.

He's already telling you he's a twat and you will be expected to accommodate "his way". Why are you still contemplating meeting him?

@MollysDolly

He's already telling you he's a twat and you will be expected to accommodate "his way". Why are you still contemplating meeting him?

This only came to a head a couple of hours ago. I was posting here to check if I was reacting appropriately or if I was being unreasonable. He's messaged me 3 times since and I've ignored all of them. I'm just disappointed that's all, because it's not like I'm fighting men off with a stick. I'm scared I'll be alone forever

Aww OP try not to be disappointed, see it as you dodging a bullet. Better to be single than with this type of man. I've felt the same way before, scared of being alone forever. Honestly there isn't anything to fear! You can be single and happy, you don't need a man for that. But also, you could meet someone fabulous, who treats you the way you deserve. Anything can happen, life is full of possibilities. Keep looking and keep positive. Don't be fearful of being alone, Its not going to be forever and you can still be happy.

I wouldn't meet with someone pushy like this and would wonder if they're single. Of course a 16 year old can be left alone (and in my experience, they're busy with their own social.lives at that age).

Oh dear no. Ignore and move on. Of course it's disappointing but it is GREAT he's shown you how he is so quickly and no more of your time needs to be waste.