Has DH checked out?

[wishymore]

How would you feel if your husband told you he didn’t care about your feelings?

I would feel like getting a divorce

Say ok. Keep being sweet and living my everyday life, never giving him any clue about what is in my head. I would smile and be charming, look amazing and all the while behind the scenes planning for my divorce and post divorce life.

I would be acting like nothing is wrong meanwhile collecting all relevant financial information. I would get a fabulous divorce court and mediation wardrobe so I can turn up in our divorce proceedings looking amazing.

Drink water, stay healthy and visit the salon so I never have an “off” day so when I get rid of the bastard I’ll emerge from the fire like a Phoenix rising out into a new world without his dead weight on me.

That’s what I would do.

What @mashmallowSwede said, best advice ever!

What MarshmallowSwede said but within the limits of my own attractiveness.

Do you really think it’s game over at that point then?

It depends on the context. If he said it in the heat of a moment during an argument I wouldn't believe it was true. I'd want to sit down with him when we were both calm and ask him to explain the comment.

Context?

Heat of the moment argument - maybe they didn't mean it.

During a normal conversation - wow, ducks in a row time 🦆 🦆 🦆

Yes, I think your husband telling you he doesn’t care about your feelings is game over.

How do you even fix that? Why would you want to?

I’d ask him to move out and see a family solicitor.
You need to get your ducks in a row quick as he’s known about this longer than you, so will be ahead of you.
Any signs of an affair or addiction of any kind ?

It sounds like the kind of thing said in a row. Did he say those exact words or shout "I don't care " Dh tends to say that when he is feeling really hurt.

It was said during an argument and he has form for this. Saying really cutting/nasty things during a row and then withdrawing until I approach to resolve rather than actually just discussing why we're both feeling unhappy at that moment and discussing and resolving and saying "I hear you but I disagree". It ends up with him ranting his feelings at me but mine are dismissed/stomped on and unresolved. I feel totally taken for granted and its a huge power grab from him because he's quite happy to dig his heels in for an unlimited amount of time rather than make any effort unless I make the first move.

@MarshmallowSwede

Say ok. Keep being sweet and living my everyday life, never giving him any clue about what is in my head. I would smile and be charming, look amazing and all the while behind the scenes planning for my divorce and post divorce life.

I would be acting like nothing is wrong meanwhile collecting all relevant financial information. I would get a fabulous divorce court and mediation wardrobe so I can turn up in our divorce proceedings looking amazing.

Drink water, stay healthy and visit the salon so I never have an “off” day so when I get rid of the bastard I’ll emerge from the fire like a Phoenix rising out into a new world without his dead weight on me.

That’s what I would do.

this - it will be hard but do it

That sounds soul destroying. Call his bluff, ‘this obviously isn’t working, let’s call it a day.’

That's emotional abuse. I'd be out.

I would end it myself.

@Velvetbee he honestly wouldn’t even answer me or care. He’d just ignore me until I physically left the house. I have a very demanding job with a huge deadline approaching and I’m working 7 days a week. How does anyone manage concentrating on work and performing well alongside all of this. I can barely interact with my kids at the moment. I just don’t know how to do it or if I’m just weak. I have no support system.

It depends entirely how it was said and in what context, but if the upshot is that he genuinely doesn't care about your feelings about things then yes, it's time to go unfortunately.

It sounds like you're both under a lot of pressure which is a bad time to make big decisions. I wouldn't be happy if My dh was working 7 days a week! It's bound to take a toll on all your relationships.

Haven't you posted about him and the almost identical issues before?

@wishymore

Do you really think it’s game over at that point then?

Erm, yes. Sadly.

Honestly, life is too short for this level of tedious drama and shitty behaviour.

Do yourself a huge favour in 2022 and get rid.