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Original poster

Do childhood sweethearts ever get back together?

14 replies

its2003again · 16/12/2021 23:50

I was with my childhood sweetheart for 2 years when I was 14. I was besotted. He cheated (we never slept together) and he ended up with this girl for 15 years. My husband is abuse and I've just had our second baby and something made me add him on Facebook. He's single dad now and we've been chatting like old times. I feel 14 again. Husband earns £100k a year, I'm a stay at home mum to our 2 kids. This guy works part time in a pub and has his kids full time until it goes through court as his ex is a psycho.
Am I dicing with danger?

OP posts:
Nsky · 17/12/2021 00:08

Prob, be careful

Sugarandshine · 17/12/2021 00:18

-Your husband is abusive so you need to be careful talking to another man
-I’m not sure going back to someone that cheated on you Is ideal
-are you just going back to what you think was your last safe and innocent relationship
-id be worried about anyone that says their ex is a psycho

  • you both have a lot of issues to deal with and this would be messy

Maybe you just need to get out of your marriage and find a safe And happy life for you and Dc without rushing into something else

HollowTalk · 17/12/2021 00:26

Every abusive husband has a psycho ex-wife. This person cheated on you. He's got full responsibility for his children and he works part time. He says he has a psycho wife. Why on earth would you be interested in him?

Asvan · 17/12/2021 00:34

Some things are best left in the past. If you are having problems with your husband, deal with them and move on. Don't feel like you have to go back to your past.

dangerrabbit · 17/12/2021 00:52

Leave both men in the past and enjoy being single

Momijin · 17/12/2021 02:35

Hi lovely. It is natural to look back at old relationships when you're unhappy. But it is better to start new relationships when youre settled and happy yourself as it can mean that you jump from the frying pan into the fire (talking from experience).

mylovelydd · 17/12/2021 07:10

His ex is a psycho? Hmm

You know him saying that is a red flag don't you?
If you're unhappy in your marriage then leave and be on your own for a while. You don't have to pivot from one relationship to another.
Don't ask around on MN for permission to cheat which is what you're doing. You don't even know this man from the past. You were 14 ffs.
That's an entire lifetime ago!

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 17/12/2021 08:21

I married my childhood sweetheart after university but it didn't work out and we were divorced painfully young, though it was amicable enough.

While things were still good we sat on a bench overlooking the sea and vowed to each other that if things went wrong, we'd meet at that spot five years later, just to see if it sparked something again.

Anyway, neither of us did. I couldn't have told when the date should have been, and she was planning marriage no.2 by then.

Still send the odd (totally platonic) message to each other every year or so. She's happy, as am I.

There's always exceptions to the rule but I'm sure that generally moving backwards is the wrong thing to do.

Tillsforthrills · 17/12/2021 08:22

You’re leaping from the frying pan into the fire here.

With your home situation please sort it out so you can focus on your children who are likely going to suffer with an abusive father.

Tillsforthrills · 17/12/2021 08:26

I’d give any man describing his ex as ‘a psycho’ a miss.

statetrooperstacey · 17/12/2021 08:27

You are going to use this flirtation to distract yourself from your home life. Don’t do it, in a way it will prop up your marriage but it will cause more problems in the long run and you could possibly end up with 2 horrible men on the go , which would be even worse. He makes you feel young again that’s all there is to it. Work on or finish your marriage first.

Darkpheonix · 17/12/2021 08:32

You are both walking red flags.

You in an abusive marriage using him as a get out and for an ego boost. Potentially, putting him and his child in danger, from your abusive husband. You using him as an emotional crutch despite the fact that you don't know him.

Him, cause his 'ex is a psycho.' The mum never has the child? Ever? But he has childcare where he can work shit hours, part time in a pub. But not full time?

Disaster written all over it.

catsareme14 · 17/12/2021 16:58

Yes and it was an absolute disaster. Married & divorced him . I got swept up in the 'romance ' of it and ignored the red flags that I had identified at 16 .

Mermaidwaves · 17/12/2021 17:09

Some men are so unoriginal, why is the ex always 'pyscho', can't they think of another word to provide us with a red flag?

Honestly I think if you are unhappy in your marriage this man is not the answer. Please consider your future and your options but not with this man who frankly sounds like another set of problems.

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