How do you deal with difficult work colleagues?

[Pegasussnail]

A different type of relationship - but thought I would get some advice here to help me.

I work with several people- mostly female many of whom are there 15 to 20 years.
Its quite negative/ lots of competition but no promotions due to nature of the work. Management are nice but passive and only deal with problems after they have occurred rather than get out on the floor and see issues

But anyway. I'm less tolerant than I used to be. Eg I organised a wellbeing event. Lots of staff said they didn't understand what to do (it was literally tea and so on after work and several said they didn't know about it despite 4 reminders)

Another colleague was rolling her eyes and said to another member of staff that I didn't let people know and even as I washed up and started bossing me how to do it. Yet she didn't wash a cup herself. I told her that it came across as bitchy and have avoided her.

I'm senior to her. A nice person I think. I have fo organise more of these events. Currently job hunting due to general unhappiness but I need to try and get on with these types of people. Negative Nellie's
Any advice?

Maybe don't organise stuff like that for after work? I wouldn't want to go to something like that at the end of the day.

Well, maybe you could take some of it as feedback? I'm not sure if I would understand what a well-being event was without explanation. Did your messages about it get lost in a sea of emails, would a different approach work better?
Some people are just mood hoovers. They're not happy if they're not moaning. Offering unsolicited advice? Ask if she wants to do the washing herself or just smile and nod.

An event after work? That in itself sounds a disaster waiting to happen. My well being is improved by leaving work!

Better to listen to what people want. If you have to organise more well-being events, get people inside by getting them involved. Get people to vote over email between different options, suggest that work make a “well-being committee” so that it’s not just you, but colleagues themselves that can input ideas and get behind them.

*on side

It has to be after work (literally 20mins) as we cannot meet during work
Maybe next year we could do it at lunchtime.
I don't really care about organising it but do it as it's part of my role and I don't mind if I don't go.

It's the spiteful comments that people didn't know that hurts. It was likely a cover up for not wanting to go but I took the blame

I have to say I’d be annoyed if a colleague organised a work event after work, I certainly wouldn’t go

I do ask for feedback and everyone responds with s thumbs up but then this happens last minute. It's not a very pleasant work environment and most people eat in their cars etc.

X post but if it can’t be done in work time it shouldn’t be done at all.

50 percent of staff went and enjoyed it. So they said.

Sorry but I wouldn't attend a wellbeing event after work time. If you want people to attend that sort of thing then it needs to be on the clock.

I organised it on behalf of the management team and prizes etc given out. I will grow a thicker skin and will avoid the not so nice members of staff in future

Having to attend a well-being event in my lunch break would not be good for my well-being.

It sounds like it might just be a shitty company with a bad culture then. There’s not much you can do via well-being events if people are generally unhappy. If you have to do stuff for your work like this then maybe apply the budget to just giving out gifts or something? Or just ignore the naysayers - there will always be people who grumble and hate work fun, equally there will be people (like me!) who appreciate the effort. We do lots of things at our work after work so it really isn’t that.

But if you do want to engage negative staff in the long term, then include the negative ones in the decision making.

Sounds like an entrenched culture which is impossible hard to tackle. All you can do is rise above it, remember its not personal and try to retain your own cheerful outlook despite.
The only way any change could happen imo would be to remove whatever they dislike about the job, but likely that's impossible.
I work with some people who arrive, you greet them and all how they are and the answer is "i'll be better in 8 hours when I'm going home" 😂 every day! Well what do you say to that!? I just don't bother asking them now. I blank all negativity as nothing can counter it (I've tried everything) and I just engage when they're being less miserable. It does help dial it down but it's not a fix as such.
The saving grace is that not all my colleagues are like this and I'm part time so I can let it wash over me.

You sound deluded. A work well-being idea should be within work time. The fact you can't see this is staggering.

A well being event, outside work time is counter productive. Its rarely going to improve anyone's well being to be forced to stay late or spend their lunchtime.

Reducing people's free time, isn't improving their well being.

Well being teams, also have a reputation for saying alot but not actually doing anything that helps people's well being. There was a thread here a while ago about it. While I believe most people who do organise this have the best of intentions, like you do, it rarely ever improves things for staff.

People probably made out they didn't know about it because they didn't want to go and or they felt there could be pressure from management to attend.

The rest sounds like just normal office stuff where people with all personalities are forced to be together and there conflict.

What prizes were given out and how would they have improved people's well being?

Why don't you ask your colleagues what sort of things they think would improve staff well-being? Bear in mind some people hate their jobs and are naturally miserable and you will never ever please those people, so don't waste your time trying to placate them. If you can find something that will please 60% of the team, then you are onto a winner.