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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just when I'd given up on men...

17 replies

ColdHandsColdFeetWarmHeart · 16/12/2021 11:57

I've been in long term relationships for the last 30 years and just settled for what I had with them until the first one had an affair and the second one just fizzled out completely.
I thought the kind of relationships I read about and saw on TV were works of fiction. I've not been with anyone who's made me feel really good about myself since I was a teenager. But I've met someone who makes me feel amazing, we have a ridiculously powerful spark, and I can say or message anything to him without overthinking and worrying how it'll make me look. The conversation and banter is all there, and the sex is fantastic! I feel so lucky!
I'm very aware that it's very early days but I'm really enjoying it for now and even if it doesn't last it's made me realise that the relationships I've only read about before really can be achieved.
Sorry for going on, I can't tell anyone this in person as it sounds so braggy, so you lot are going to have to be my audience I'm afraid! Grin

OP posts:
morethanspice · 16/12/2021 11:59

Happy for you!!! It’s why I keep trying 😊

antwacky · 16/12/2021 12:01

Oh that's lovely, really pleased for you and I hope it lasts as long as you want it too. Enjoy!

ColdHandsColdFeetWarmHeart · 16/12/2021 12:35

@morethanspice

Happy for you!!! It’s why I keep trying 😊
Definitely worth persisting, don't give up! Smile
OP posts:
ColdHandsColdFeetWarmHeart · 16/12/2021 12:35

@antwacky

Oh that's lovely, really pleased for you and I hope it lasts as long as you want it too. Enjoy!
Thank you Smile
OP posts:
RosieGuacamosie · 17/12/2021 18:42

Congratulations Flowers

I get the braggy feeling! I have to try very hard to tone it down when I feel like I’m living my fairytale life Grin

Yummypumpkin · 17/12/2021 18:44

How did you meet?

MrsHookey · 17/12/2021 20:00

Yay. There's hope for us all :) wishing you all the best!

Pinkbonbon · 17/12/2021 21:00

Great stuff! Hopefully it goes the distance.

Not to be a Debby downer though but please make sure you know about love bombing and narcissistic mirroring ect... just incase. From experience often if there are high highs amd extreme chemistry early on...it can be too good to be true.

Hopefully this guy is a good un. But just always be careful.

Crazykatie · 18/12/2021 07:43

I’m in a similar situation, moved in with a new man and it’s very intense, we have very similar interests, so we can do most things together. I’m not “girlie” in any way, liking cars, trains, aeroplanes, rugby, adventure travel, he likes all those plus gardening, theatre and DIY which suits me fine. He is not macho, just confident, he takes notice of what I say and what I want, so I am careful not to be demanding, which isn’t easy when my ex was deaf to everything.

Love bombing, after nearly 3 yrs I don’t think so, we’ve grown together in that time and he is very consistent and most importantly makes me laugh, which is always good.

ColdHandsColdFeetWarmHeart · 18/12/2021 11:35

@Yummypumpkin

How did you meet?
It was proper old fashioned, we've known each other at the pub to say hello for years & this time he offered to buy me a drink. I'd just given up on internet dating & decided I was happy single 😁
OP posts:
ColdHandsColdFeetWarmHeart · 18/12/2021 11:36

@Pinkbonbon

Great stuff! Hopefully it goes the distance.

Not to be a Debby downer though but please make sure you know about love bombing and narcissistic mirroring ect... just incase. From experience often if there are high highs amd extreme chemistry early on...it can be too good to be true.

Hopefully this guy is a good un. But just always be careful.

I'm fully prepared for this to be love bombing & just enjoying it while it lasts for now 👍
OP posts:
Yummypumpkin · 18/12/2021 11:36

Oh that's lovely!

Crazykatie · 18/12/2021 16:46

Same here we had known each other at a distance for many years so no trust issues at all

Tiredmum100 · 18/12/2021 16:52

That's nice OP. FWIW, my husband of 10 years (so far) was like this (still is). It was so easy. No worries about would he reply to my text, of I should even text etc. No game playing. Just enjoy it!

gofigureit · 18/12/2021 17:04

Enjoy it, it's important to live in the moment and appreciate all the good stuff that comes our way.

SunflowerTed · 18/12/2021 23:42

Really happy for you. Enjoy every minute🎄

ColdHandsColdFeetWarmHeart · 19/12/2021 15:30

@Tiredmum100

That's nice OP. FWIW, my husband of 10 years (so far) was like this (still is). It was so easy. No worries about would he reply to my text, of I should even text etc. No game playing. Just enjoy it!
Yes, that's exactly it! I can say anything to him in person and by text without worrying about it, so refreshing...
OP posts:
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