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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

It’s been months, any advice?

3 replies

Stuppperlobs · 16/12/2021 11:53

I still love my ex. We were only together a couple of years and broke up a few months ago. His brother was very unwell and he had masses of family issues, a bit of a workaholic and got very stressed. He would spend evenings not speaking and staring into space. I asked him to get help and he said he couldn’t as work was too busy. I ended up leaving. I’ve honestly never felt so sad. I loved and still love him more than anyone I’ve ever been involved with in any way.

I know there’s ‘always someone else’ and maybe his issues are too much for a relationship to really grow. But I wasn’t someone who just took anything and settled for anyone. I really fell in love.

I’ve met someone else since and it’s nice. I think about my ex a lot though. I often wonder if he was my only real love. I miss him every day.

Would you press on finding something new or would you try as rekindle things?

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 16/12/2021 11:57

Move on. You weren't right for each other.

JinglingHellsBells · 16/12/2021 19:21

It takes two to have a relationship.
How would he feel about seeing you again?
Has he tried to make contact at all?

It's really hard to understand what went on to be honest.
He was stressed and unable to share it with you.
You told him to get help- counselling? (That's not really that helpful because when people are very down and stressed being 'told' to get help is just another thing to do.)

I don't want to be hard on you but it comes over a bit as if you didn't have patience with him or even want to support him.

The things he encountered- an ill family member and busy at work- are life events we all go through.

Couples who face these things together, survive.
It doesn't sound as if you were really 'together' at all.

Did you live together or just date?

dumplings1 · 17/12/2021 15:39

It doesn't sound like your into the new guy enough that's why you're thinking about your ex, you weren't happy how your ex was, don't dwell on the past, you ended it because it felt hopeless. Address your current situation, deep down are you really happy with him?

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