Aibu to keep him blocked?

[Potatodrivers]

Posting for traffic really and for reassurance, or setting me right if I am in the wrong.

Ds(12) has cut contact with his dad for a number of reasons. One reason being that dad is constantly saying awful things about me.

I have tried encouraging contact, but ds is not interested.

Before ds ended contact, dad was awful to me over text. Police were called and dad was blocked. Ds is not aware of this.

Now dad is wanting to speak to me to try and fix the issues between ds and him, but I dont want to, nor can I see what it would achieve. Other than opening the door for further abuse again.

But...I do feel guilty. As if it's partly my responsibility to try and help.

Just to add that we broke up when ds was 3. He has been abusive on and off throughout. Which is why I really don't want to unblock him.

Have you told Ds he has the option to block him.... I would support your Ds

And based on your update I would tell your son that his dad is being a headfucking dickhead and and it is toxic and he would be wise to block the jerk before he abuses him the same way he did you and the same way he will everyone else in
his life.

And if there is a new baby, so what! It won't know anyone from Adam at this age so there's no point in tolerating a toxic Christmas just to meet it.

I told him his dad was just being a dick. It was an automatic response that I don't think I could have held back if I tried. I suggested he just block him, but it turns out dad has blocked him!! Honest to god!
He really is a dick. I felt bad for saying it at first, but not anymore.

Nah sod it, he's old enough to know the score. Just make sure your boy knows it's totally dysfunctional and he doesn't have to entertain anyone who behaves like that.

I'd also ask if he wanted a new phone number or to switch phones with you or something. That way when his dad unblocks and attempts to start some other bs mind game, he doesn't even have to see it.

Thats a good idea. I will suggest it to him.

I am in complete disbelief still. How can anybody drop a bombshell like that onto a child and instead of confirming what was meant, they block.

No doubt if there is a baby, that will be the excuse dad has used to people when they ask where ds is. He would have told them that ds isn't happy about the baby. Little do they know, ds knew nothing about it!

So there’s two possibilities

1. Your ex has lied to his own son for months about expecting / having another baby

1. The baby doesn’t exist and your ex is lying now.

No good options here. And to block a 12 year old for asking a perfectly reasonable question - words fail me.

You are right is he is a total dick. I’m sorry for your poor son having such a loser as a dad - he deserves better.

Please keep screen shots of all these messages ( to you and your DS ).