Parent A and Parent B have been together for 17 years, married 13. They have two children- 8 year old and 4 year old.
Today the 8 year old was ill and slept most of the day on the sofa. The 4 year old pestered the older sibling a lot and eventually started trying to roll on top of her which, of course, upset her when she’s feeling ill.
Both parents told the 4 year old off. He got angry at being told off and started doing things deliberately to push everyone’s buttons (eg. hurling the remote controls across the room) so Parent B put on the 4 year old’s favourite programme to help diffuse the situation. Parent A went into another room to do something.
Shortly afterwards, the 4 year old started trying to upset the ill 8 year old again by putting his feet on her and trying to lay on top of her. Parent B picked the 4 year old up and put him in the entrance hall (very small) of the house, and closed the door, holding it firmly shut with their hand so the child couldn’t get out. 4 year old started getting upset and asking Parent B to open the door. Parent B didn’t let him out and then turned off the light in the entrance hall. The 4 year old started screaming at being in the dark. Parent B switched the light back on and told the 4 year old off again then switched the light back off. The 4 year old screamed again at being alone in the dark.
Parent A intervened and told Parent B to stop frightening the 4 year old. Parent B let the 4 year old out.
Parent B thinks Parent A deliberately undermined them in front of the two children and that Parent A should support Parent B when they are disciplining the dc.
Parent A thinks it was cruel to shut the 4 year old in a dark place by himself as a way of teaching him a lesson. And that the lesson was lost anyway due to the fear he felt. They also think it’s abusive to punish a child by playing on their fears.
What do you think?