How do you manage finances/divvy up money?

[MeSanniesareBrannies]

How do you manage finances/divvy up money?

So, background info:

Me: 34, earning just over £60K (less than £20K savings). Unlikely to ever earn more than £90K.

DP: 32, earning £100K + bonus (also has £100K savings/deposit). Earnings upper limit impossible to predict.

My partner and I have been together three years, lived together two and just got engaged. He earns considerably more than me, has always paid for most things and is happy to do so. We’re buying a house (both names) and he’ll be stumping up most of the deposit.

We both work full time in fairly intense jobs, but hours aren’t crazy. We’re pretty even on housework (we’re both a bit rubbish, he possibly does slightly more, we have a lovely cleaner). No kids, but we we want them and I’ll probably stay home for a bit when we have them.

DP wants to chuck all our money (after savings and investments) in a joint account, have equal access and just not worry about it. Having read threads on here, it seems like there’s reasons not to do that? There’s lots of comments about making sure everyone has their own money, ‘ducks in a row’ and is contributing to the household according to income? If you’re long term married and happy with your financial arrangements, what do you do/would you recommend we do?

I can’t imagine ever having money based rows, but as it seems so common, I thought getting ahead of it might be good. All advice gratefully received.

@RosesAndHellebores I think the ‘there’s always been enough’ thing is pretty important.

We’ve also always had enough money, separately and as a unit. As life gets more spendy (nice wedding, then house and kids), that’s possibly going to change. I suppose I need to be mindful of that.

Yes, I do think it's an important point to be mindful of. DH had to pick up all the bills when ds was a baby because ds was ill and I couldn't sustain working. Fortunately although we had moved we had not stretched beyond one income in relation to the mortgage. Also helped by the fact that I'm not the last of the big spenders and dh is decent enough never to have queried anything I bought which included: children's shoes, haircuts, food, things for the home and the odd coffee or lunch and of course things like activities for the dc. Fortunately I had enough set aside for my highlights and anything treaty but a pair of shoes, jeans, top, coat, etc was never questioned.