Do you stalk your ex on social media?

[sweetpopcorn96]

How did you stop yourself from caring and thinking about what your ex partner/husband is doing after a separation/divorce?

Did you stalk their social media?

How did you feel when you found out they were in a new relationship? ....how did you find out?

I don’t look at all. Only driving yourself crazy. I just pretend he doesn’t exist

Nope. Couldn’t give less of a crap what he’s up to and I pity his new wife. I hope he treats her better than he did me but that’s as far as I’ve ever given her a thought.

No. I rarely use SM. Anything I have is locked down (private). Ex is not in my ‘friends/ connections’ anywhere and vice versa. Couldn’t give a monkeys what he’s doing / who with.

How about if you have very young children?

Wish I could cut him out and never have to see him again but we have a 1 year old...

Sometimes I find myself stalking his social media and even his families social media. Hate it but can't help it. Most the time find things that upset me but o keep doing it!!!

Do you OP? How long is it since the split?
I took split quite badly earlier this year. I found myself looking a new woman appeared although there is no evidence he is with her. You can drive yourself nuts. Its unhealthy. I have deactivated my account over Christmas.

Block block block. No good can come of stalking on social media.

You can help it. You know you’re hurting yourself

Can you plan something to do instead when your urge strikes?

Split when I was a few months pregnant last year. Was married for 3 years. Currently in the middle of the divorce.

I was speaking to my mum today about how much I love my baby but hate how it means he will be in my life forever, how I have to communicate with him, compromise, put up with his bs.

He really hurt me. Spent my entire pregnancy and postpartum period crying. I've accepted it now and actually feel less hurt and more hate towards him now.

@sweetpopcorn96

How about if you have very young children?

Wish I could cut him out and never have to see him again but we have a 1 year old...

Sometimes I find myself stalking his social media and even his families social media. Hate it but can't help it. Most the time find things that upset me but o keep doing it!!!

I have children with my ex but he doesn’t see them 🤷‍♀️ Even if he did I still wouldn’t look, I don’t think it helps.

Yes when I split with my exh I had younger children. I actually deactivated a lot of my SM and have never gone back to FB etc. Just stop looking and make it a non negotiable. The more you do it the more of a habit it becomes.

I do, but it's mainly because I find it entertaining to 'decode' what he puts as his captions on instagram... he's endlessly polishing turds, but nobody would know it but me.

He'll post a picture of him and his girlfriend on a beach somewhere and say "Bit of a bumpy journey to get to , but every step is worth it with her"

What most people will think is "Oh, they had some flight delays"

I know that means: "I got fired from my job without telling my girlfriend and ran out of money halfway through our trip, so she had to stump up the cash to get us here"

It amazes me I stuck around for as long as I did –'stalking' him, now with some objective distance, reminds me of what a twat he is and I'll never make the same mistake again.

I've accepted it now and actually feel less hurt and more hate towards him now

That's not accepting is it?
That's just putting your energy in to hating him instead of loving him.

Feel whatever you need to but he he will always be a point in your life. So either accept it and move on or obsess. Which would you prefer?

It's so hard to put your feelings aside towards your ex and his family if they so badly hurt you and then you have to share your child with them. I know he's the dad and I support him having a good relationship with our baby but it's just so hard. Almost unfair. I did everything!!!!!! I know he loves his son but I did everything!!!!! I think part of me would feel better if his narcissistic family wasn't involved eg. Lived in another country so couldn't see and spend any time with my baby.

I know this may sound harsh but they hurt me so bad.

@penguinwithasuitcase hahahah this is so true. The things you see where nobody knows the reality but you

I have no interest in what mine gets up to, although he tries to rub my nose in it by sending pictures to our children of all the GREAT THINGS he’s doing now.
He’s only interested in himself but lies to everyone that he is hard done by and such a doting dad.
So it’s best to ignore for me!
He’s had at least two women ‘friends’ he’s introduced the children to since we split earlier this year. I couldn’t care less about who he sees but I worry it will affect my children. I don’t say anything because he’ll accuse me of jealousy or bitterness and it makes me feel better not to rise to it!
One woman I found out about because she gave my child a card and gift! How kind.

The problem with looking for things is you usually find them. Stop doing it to yourself.

I know it's hard. I'm divorced too. Married same time as you. On one scrolling session I found a pic of my ex husband with his gorgeous new girlfriend. It hurt of course, but I had to ask myself why i was so shocked when I had been actively searching for it then...boom....there it was. Made me rethink what I was doing it for if the thing I eventually found only hurt me.

Block him. Block his family. Move in.

Keep one form of communication open - text / phone maybe, so that you can communicate about your child.

I feel so much better since doing this, should have done it years ago.

Good luck OP 💐

Move on, not move in 😂